An Unbidden Life Blog

I Am Just Happy To Be Here

2012-01-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

I dragged in to Kunming around midnight. Here's what I journaled... "Looks like I will be "making retreat." I came to support several young men and their ordination, but for the next couple of days I was shuffled off to a very cold hotel room across the street from KTV and its six-story tall dancing LED girl out my window. The first night I slept in my leather coat and knit stocking cap - under the comforter. Oh man! The window was open all night, and I didn't realize it. I was so blasted after traveling for a couple of days I didn't even check out the window.

I got to breakfast about five minutes before it closed at 9:30 a.m. I ate fried eggs with my chopsticks. Its a talent. Jack called. They are really busy and if I can just sit tight at the hotel... Somehow, I loved being sidelined. I came just to be with them. Now I will just BE. I am now making retreat. I brought Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle. I sat down in my cold room (window is shut now), a hot cup of tea, which is quickly cooling, and began going through the mansions. The basement entrance to the Castle of His Majesty, the first mansion, is nothing but a Grace. It has to be because it is full of poisonous reptiles. There Self is g-d. The second mansion begins with Calling. Its decision time. Will we follow the Call? Calling is a also a grace she says. I smile a smirk because she sounds just like Calvin. I wonder what the Driscolites and neo-Calvinists would say to that!

On and on Teresa takes me through her mansions. I am consumed with my situation - sequestered in China, quietly biding my time, abiding in Christ - and reading Teresa. I thought about my first trip to China. I was stuck in a hotel on that trip as well. But then I was so frustrated. Then I came to China to build a school for poor minority children. But I was "trapped!" I had to wait for others to come get me. I was not in control. My entire ministry life was about accomplishment - doing something, reaching out to students, starting a church, preaching, disciple-making.

What a difference six years has made in my life. It is the tale of two Chinese hotel rooms.

The spiritual life is all about control. The move from DO to BE takes tremendous energy and focus. It consumes me. I realize the best discipleship I can accomplish is to model submission to Christ. One of my staff caught me in a moment of self-disclosure when in a meeting I mumbled, "Even in my silence no one hears me." I'll never be asked to lead a seminar on Being. If I ever am then the appropriate thing to do would be to decline the offer. There are few seminars on "How I Become Nothing." (Although I did see once a workshop on 'how to take your church contemplative!')

It is embarrassing to even write about my time sequestered in my cold hotel room with Interior Castle. It violates something private and secret, like shining a flashlight on salamanders in hole, or lifting a rock and having the beetles freeze up. But this is the unbidden life and it calls to us, like the still small voice. And my task is to call others to it. The life of following Jesus is first about abiding, sitting at his feet, listening. Everything else follows. All the news about building ministries, serving, politics, success and enterprise is second. In the past I did not believe this. But now I can pretty much sit in any hotel room and "make retreat."

The "fuwuyuan" knocked on the door that afternoon. I was sitting in the chair with my lukewarm tea, my book, journal and pen, with my coat and hat on, wiping my nose. She had pity on me and brought me a nice big electric heater. "Xiexie." They've got heaters! Whadda ya know! Mother Teresa would have rejected it, but not me! Heck, I could dry my laundry on it in one hour (I don't take much change of clothing; I always go carry-on to China - this is how pilgrims travel. Lose the roller bag and be free friend).

Jack called and the ordination service was on for the next day at ten in the morning. Soon I was buzzing around people and snapping pictures. I got the great honor of placing the stoles on each ordinand. As I did so I said the words, "You have received the yoke of Christ, now receive the mantle of Pastor." I wish I could have thought about it enough in advance work it up in Chinese. But I didn't. Still, I thought my line was a pretty snappy thing to say, even if nobody understood it.

After the big event, the point of my trip, I hung out with a few young ministry folk the next few days. We ate together in their homes and in restaurants - always in our coats, always. They are so tired. Nobody asks them how they are doing, how's their marriage, how's the parenting thing going, what is your relationship with Jesus like. One man spent three years in jail, another one year and then he escaped. All have been interrogated and hassled. They have all this plus an American Evangelical model of ministry that will suck the grace of g-d right out of you. It shows. It shows.

I just wanted to be with them. When I go to China I can't help but think of the time when the Apostle Paul was stoned and dragged outside the city and left for dead (Acts 14:20). And the text says (NIV) 'But after the disciples had gathered around him, he go up and went back into the city.' No prayer, no oil, no laying of hands - nothing. They just gathered around him Luke records. I just wanted to gather around them, those saints in China. Somehow our Presence can raise the dead. I was just happy to be with them. I was just happy to Be.

I haven't finished Interior Castle. I have already read the later parts before though. But I have to get through all the mansions. But there are so many things to DO, back here, you know what I mean? Perhaps g-d will send down the gift of a cold hotel room and fried eggs for me. And I can finish my book. May all of us just be happy to be here... at the feet of Jesus.

The Canticles of Christmas and the Spiritual Journey: Awakening, Purgation, Illumination & Union - Part 3

2011-12-16T08:10:00.000-08:00

(PREFACE) There are three classic songs or "Canticles" of Christmas: The Magnificat (Mary's Song), The Benedictus (Zechariah's Song), and The Nunc Dimittus (Simeon's Song). We usually add a fourth with the Song of the Angels to the shepherds. Lakeland is walking through these four Canticles this Advent Season. Go to www.lakelandcommunitychurch.org for more about our resources for celebrating Advent at home.

Coincidentally, there are four classic stages to the spiritual journey: 1) Awakening 2) Purgation 3) Illumination and 4) Union. For a nice presentation of these four stages consult M. Robert Mulholland Jr.'s Invitation To A Journey, Formatio IVP, 1993.

This is the third week of Advent. We come to Simeon's Song, Nunc Dimittus, found in Luke 2:25-35.

28 Simeon was there. He took the child in his arms and praised God, saying,

29 “Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised.

30 I have seen your salvation,

31 which you have prepared for all people.

32 He is a light to reveal God to the nations,

and he is the glory of your people Israel!”

It is difficult to place Simeon's Song (Nunc Dimittus) within the classic four stages of the spiritual life. Simeon certainly belongs to the later stages, Illumination and/or Union. But which one is he? Is he both? He is supposedly old since he is near the end of life. In the stages, Union is the last. I planned to save Union for the Angels (Gloria in Excelsis Deo). But Simeon shows affinity for Union perhaps more than Illumination - except for one feature: Simeon seems to be "experiencing" g-d and this is not a part of Union.

Janet Hagberg and Robert Guliech's The Critical Journey, divide the spiritual stages into six, subdividing Purgation into Discipleship and Productivity, and subdividing Illumination into the Inward Journey (with its famous "Wall") and the Outward Journey. The Inward Journey is a dark journey, self-indulgent, introspection filled with doubt and questions. One can get stuck and caged at The Wall within the Inward Journey and never make it out. The Wall results in no longer attending church, cynicism, or even no longer believing in God. The way through The Wall is to own up to the fact that your old God is not the real unbidden, unknown and uncontrollable g-d. The inability to make this major repositioning kills the spiritual journey and I believe it also kills one's soul or life.

The Outward Journey then is summed up in one word: Acceptance. A joy comes from accepting that we do not know the g-d but we are surprisingly overwhelmingly loved by this g-d we cannot control. Acceptance means a loss of control. As Richard Rohr puts it 'we jump off our tower we built during our entire productive adult life.' We must jump into the unknown mystical fog of an uncontrollable g-d. All our previous convictions and certainties no longer apply. The Bible looks like a brand new book. Yes, the words on the pages look and sound familiar but now we read them for the first time in the light of a new g-d. The church is redefined in mystical terms. But mostly the Outward Journey is about finding and accepting our true self, our true identity. We no longer "rob" g-d of providing us with our identity by DOING things for g-d and others for OUR benefit, affirmation and self-worth. Now in Illumination (Outward Journey) we embrace the Subjective "I" - an identity that is only defined in terms of g-d's love for us. Our old Objective "I" based on information, doctrine, beliefs, dogma and certitudes no longer seems valuable. Our old beliefs are not "wrong" but rather just outdated and trivial compared to the love of the Lover.

Union however is a different stage than Illumination or the Outward Journey. Union is a deep settled peace and confidence. Union is NOT filled with emotions and feelings, as much as we are now engulfed inside of g-d. We are fully seduced. We are complete. We no longer desire to go to heaven because we already in heaven here on earth. We no longer think about praying because our subconsciousness is submerged in unceasing prayer. This is why Union doesn't "experience" g-d as though g-d is external from us. But rather g-d is within us or more accurately, we are within g-d. In Union Teresa of Avila says we no longer experience the consolations of the Spirit - we cease sensing, and become simply divine (theosis). In Union we serve others out of our Being, our Identity within g-d. We no longer serve others for personal gain or satisfaction. Everything we "do" is prayer, and prayer is doing. Tirelessly serving, Mother Teresa said for the last forty years of her life she did not feel g-d. The Press thought this meant she did not believe in g-d. What an absurd Western modern materialist response! That response is couched entirely within a world of belief-control. But I think every old monk who heard those words of Mother Teresa smiled wryly and just nodded slowly, Knowing.

Where is Simeon? Illumination or Union? Actually any guess is pure fiction. I don't know. This entire spiritual journey overlay on top of the Canticles is just an idea. But I do like the idea of saving Union for the Angels who sing before the shepherds. No doubt the Angels are in Union with g-d. And it is even feeble of me to think of Angels "progressing" toward g-d. They are g-d's messengers. They are completely submitted. The can't progress - and they envy us because we can and cannot progress(1 Peter 2:10).

But don't be surprised someday if you a) hit The Wall, b) feel all alone in your joy of Acceptance, giddy and in love with your Maker, c) finally quietly fall into a deep unknown mystery, a divine BEING or state (instead of "knowing" as we think of it in the West). Don't be surprised if someday you can joyously say, "Now you can dismiss your servant because I have seen the salvation of all the people of the earth..." And those are you last words.

The Canticles of Christmas and the Spiritual Journey: Awaken, Purgation, Illumination & Union - Part 2

2011-12-03T12:33:00.001-08:00

This is the second week of Advent. We come to Zechariah's Song, The Benedictus, found in Luke 1:67-79.

Let's think of the progress of the Canticles this way: Mary is young and innocent. She is "the vibrant, enthusiastic awakened beginner." Mary is obedient and submitted. So she receives G-d's favor and blessing. Next comes Zechariah. He is an old experienced priest. But Zechariah fails to trust G-d and so he is "purged."

Luke 1:18 - Zechariah asked the angel, "How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years."

Purged? Yes, "purgation" is the old-fashioned spiritual term for "cleansed" or purification. Zechariah, John the Baptist's father, should be identified with the middle stage of Purgation. The angel Gabriel tells Zechariah that because he doubts G-d's plan for his wife Elizabeth and him to have a child in the post-child-bearing days, he is not allowed to speak (and apparently he is deaf as well.) He isn't allowed to speak or hear until John is born.

Luke 1:19-20 - The angel said to him, "I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. 20 And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time."

While this sounds tragic and severe, purgation requires us to turn away from our sin and sinful habits. When we move out of Awakening and into Purgation, we move into the life of discipleship. We find new loves and likes. We now devour Scripture. We eat up books, sermons, teachings, lectures on the Christian life. We get into discussions, debates and outright arguments on just about everything... which translation of the Bible is best, New American Standard or New Revised Standard. Which local church is the "the purest." Why the Roman Catholics are wrong and Evangelicals are right. Why Calvinism is THE system of doctrine.

We gather information. Our soul drills down deep spiritual roots. We journal and have a quiet time, a time of surrender each day. We pray rich petitions. We sing and worship with abandonment. We buy Christian music CDs/downloads. We judge other Christians - who's wrong and who's right. To sum up, we are discovering what we believe and who we belong to. We are in love with Jesus and all that Jesus stands for. We are in love with the Christian life. In my little world, this is when I spelled g-d "God." I knew all about God. I fled the world and worldliness. I was in the world but not of the world.

In my early days of the Christian life, I went to a meeting nearly every night. I had a quiet time each day. I read volumes of books on Apologetics and Doctrine. I loved it. I became a Calvinist because it was so clear, and made so much sense: We are totally depraved, unable to save ourselves; God is sovereign so he must know everything, so he knew me, he predestined me for salvation. Since God is so efficient, no one who isn't elect will be saved. Like science, this doctrine is so very clear. In Purgation G-d is not a mystery to be pondered, so much as he is a puzzle to be solved.

In Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich's helpful book, The Critical Journey, they divide Purgation into two distinct stages: a) the Life of Discipleship and b) the Productive Life. The Productive Life focuses on our doing-ness. We Do. We do everything. We realize G-d loves us, and love G-d back. So we use our g-d-given talents to perform for our Lord.

In my journey I learned to play guitar. I led worship. I studied and taught and preached. I developed leaders, and wrote up scores of Bible Studies and lessons. I was useful. Like Zechariah, I learned how to be "a priest" in the temple of Belief. Also, everyone thought I was useful and wonderful.

Zechariah had spent his whole adult life (most likely) learning his craft as priest. He was probably an expert in the Law (Torah). Unfortunately he knew too much. He knew the hopes and dreams of the nation had not come to fulfillment. He knew the Hebrews had been in slavery for over 600 years. He'd learned to not expect another Moses.

Perhaps what Zechariah needed was a thunk in the head - a thunk to help him think. He had eyes but could no longer see, ears but no longer hear. I think when G-d wants us to have a thunk in the head it isn't always some tragic pain like hip surgery (but I wouldn't rule it out). No, G-d sends us into silence.

The solitude of inner silence. This was Zechariah's big thunk. Hagberg and Guelich call it "The Wall." It is actually a part of what they call the Inward Stage, which follows the stages of Discipleship and Productivity. Imagine instantly you are deaf and you can't even speak! For nine months he is alone with his thoughts and G-d. The Inward Stage with it's unavoidable Wall is time of unprecedented upheaval. You might still believe in God, but this new g-d is not like your old familiar God. If the stage goes well, you get "a new g-d" and learn to accept that you don't know anything about God, but you now truly love the unknown G-d. Best yet, you know G-d is with you. At this point you no longer know your direction in life - and it's okay, but you certainly know who is with you. It is the Lord. What a rich time of prayer and turmoil this is. We know that Zechariah comes out of this inner sanctuary humble and submitted to G-d in a new fresh way.

He asked for a writing tablet, and to everyone's astonishment he wrote, "His name is John."64 Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue set free, and he began to speak, praising God.

I bet Zechariah never doubted G-d again for the rest of his life. He was purged clean of doubt.

Do we pray for this kind of purging for ourselves? Well, do we have a choice?

By the way, if my spelling of the name of God as "g-d" or "G-d" drives you crazy, then you are definitely in the Discipleship Stage!

The Canticles of Christmas and the Spiritual Journey: Awaken, Purgation, Illumination & Union

2011-11-26T10:41:00.001-08:00

There are three classic songs or "Canticles" of Christmas: The Magnificat (Mary's Song), The Benedictus (Zechariah's Song), and The Nunc Dimittus (Simeon's Song). We usually add a fourth with the Song of the Angels to the shepherds. Lakeland is walking through these four Canticles this Advent Season. First is Mary's Song, the Magnificat found in Luke 1:46-55 for November 27th. Go to www.lakelandcommunitychurch.org for more about our resources for celebrating Advent at home.

Speaking with musician Chris Lea about the Canticles, I noticed an overlap between the classic four stages of the spiritual life and the four canticles of Christmas. Curiously, each stage corresponds to each of the Canticles exactly how I arranged to preach them. Go figure. Each of the four weeks of Advent I will post a new article about each stage in the spiritual journey and its canticle. Here's the first installment.

Mary's Song, The Magnificat and Awakening

Mary is a young betrothed peasant woman. The angel Gabriel visits her and tells her she will conceive by the Spirit of g-d and give birth to the world's Savior. Awakening is always an encounter with the unbidden g-d. G-d comes at us, unannounced, mostly unwelcomed, strange and threatening. When we encounter g-d in Awakening we may be blown away - quietly or "violently."

My personal Awakening was a bit of both. At sixteen years of age, dealing and using drugs, one cold lonely January Monday night I feel to my knees in front of my dresser next to my bed. I was tired and strung out and all I prayed was "God help me." I meant it, but didn't expect anything. But I was desperate. I thought g-d was far away, unconcerned, unaware and mostly unable to do anything for me.

But in that moment, something washed over me. I can only assume it was the unbidden g-d crashing into me. I woke up from my nightmare. I began to mutter and sing and cry and laugh. I was scared and freaked out. I was losing control and liked it. I went to sleep that night expecting my "awakening" to just be some ridiculous teenage moment. But the next morning everything was different. I felt alive. I had been raised in the church and even knew what it meant to be "saved" but I wasn't expecting what happened to me that night.

Robert Mulholland thinks Awakening is a two-sided experience: an encounter with the living God, and an encounter with the true self (page 80). I tend to think Awakening is more akin to St. Bernard's first of four loves: loving one's self for self's sake. This means g-d crashes into us and we realize we are lovable, we are "worth more than sparrows." G-d loves us. To repeat, I think this first stage of Awakening is more about us loving ourselves. This is not bad. This is necessary. That cold January Monday night in my room was the best necessary first step for me: I am loved. I love me. That's huge. May everyone wake up to love their self.

Mary Awakens to find Gabriel telling her in so many words "G-d loves you Mary." Mary had 'found favor with God' probably because she was a good, honorable Jewish girl. Mary must have been moral according to Torah, the Jewish Law. She knew all about YHWH. But this visit from Gabriel was magnificent - and terrifying! It took her totally by surprise. ('Don't be afraid Mary!") G-d comes unbidden to her, and she wakes up to love and hope. She discovers who she is (true self) as much as a young person can at that age.

Mulholland states the Awaken stage consists of two emotions: comfort and threat. Yes, I agree. Mary and I both experienced comfort (hope). But we are immediately asked to bravely renounce our self-control. This moment of Surrender is a huge threat to our self-governance.

"Decide! Who is your Lord?"
"You Jesus, only you. You are Maestro, you are my Master."

I think Americans who experience Awakening are what most of us would call "Christians." There are Christians and then there are Followers. As someone once said, "No one says 'no' to God, just 'not yet.'" I was technically a Christian. I believed the right information. I knew my Bible. I had been baptized and took the Lord's Supper. I am not sure anyone can really experience Awakening until they are an official believer. Look at the Apostle Paul's Awakening: knocked off his horse to the ground. He was a perfect Jew, a Rabbi, a Pharisee. He knew all the right stuff about YHWH, Torah and Jewish history. Yet, the light of Christ was so bright it blinded him for days. Perhaps those who think they know more fall harder.

The spiritual journey is difficult. As G.K. Chesterton put it "Christianity has not so much been tried and found wanting, as it has been found difficult and left untried." (quoted by D. Willard's The Spirit of the Disciplines, page 1) Those who cannot or will not allow the unbidden g-d to knock them to the ground, or doubt the announcement of g-d's love, his favor for them cannot and will not wake up. The soil is just too hard packed. Nothing can take root there.

"It is impossible to please God without faith" declares the writer of Hebrews (11:6). And what is faith but stepping out on just a bit of information - not all the information (otherwise it isn't faith by definition).

So what shall we do to Awaken? I am probably talking to the wrong reader here, right? No "unawakened" person is reading this probably. Nonetheless, here's what we must do: be like Mary - live honorably, learn your Bible, be in the church fellowship, get baptized, get your doctrines down, and learn what you believe and don't believe, pray, serve, and learn who you belong to... and be very very very open to the unbidden g-d.

This is what we are doing with our children at Lakeland these days: preparing them for Awakening. So don't be alarmed if your "Christian" son or daughter suddenly becomes a Christian at camp or at a friend's church, or kneeling in front of their dresser in their room. This is Awakening.

Next week, Purgation and Zechariah who is the opposite of Mary.

The Hallowed Ones Win

2011-11-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

Once again, I took down all the Halloween decorations late last night. This morning I nailed up a long white ribbon over my front door. A white ribbon isn't as dramatic as jack-o-lanterns and skeletons and candy. But I like its simplicity. Like the martyrs who go before us, they are hidden and nameless for the most part. Their blood is the seed of the gospel. Today is All Saints' Day.

Fr. Alexander Schmemann says we in America (the western mind) misunderstand what a martyr is. We think a martyr is a someone who died for their faith. But he says we are all martyrs because a martyr is first a witness. Think of Stephen:

“Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” (Acts 7)

Stephen is a witness to Jesus. He tells not only his private story but the story of the whole Hebrew nation. A martyr "sees." Do we see Jesus? Can we say

"Look! I see the heavens open and Jesus feeding the children in Haiti! ...I see girls with fistulas being cured by Jesus! ...I see my brothers and sisters in China secretly worshipping our Father! ...I see water for the thristy, I see the Living Water! ...I see special needs children loved ...I see someone standing up for the poor inner city students who want to attend a suburban school and get out of a dropout factory!"

Schmemann: "A Christian is the one who, wherever he looks, finds Christ and rejoices in Him. And this joy transforms all his human plans and programs, decisions and actions..." (p.113 Life...)

What a difference this view is from our simplistic and truncated view of the Christian as someone who just mentally agrees only with the doctrine of atonement as salvation. We say 'a Christian is someone who has managed their sin problem properly.' That is sad. That is dead. However "true" it might be, it is dead. No wonder secular folk do not want to become Christians - there is no Life exhibited by those who say they are believers. The average Christian in America basically looks just like a secular person... same tastes, same entertainment, same affluence, same vacations, same acquisitions... Where is the witness? Where are the martyrs?

We should think of ourselves as witnesses first. We see Jesus standing at the right hand of the Father! We are martyrs because our old life has died and we are hidden inside the mysteries of the Unbidden G-d.

Contrast the Christian martyrs with our secular heroes. For secular heroes we put up statues and monuments, plaques and medals; arenas are named after them, their faces go on coins and bills. We have solemn holidays for them. All this secular honor is nice and appropriate of course. Many secular heroes are even Christians.

But those who live and die for their faith are martyrs. Our story is simple and silent. Our graves are mostly unmarked. We cry out, "Lord forgive them for they know not what they do!" We intercede for our persecutors' salvation. We forgive them. We are Christians - we have no enemies. For seculars all glory is fleeting. For Christians witnesses our honor comes only from our eternal Lord.

I hope nobody notices my little white ribbon. Yet it is my small rebellion. I want my neighbors to know I celebrate All Saints' Day. I love this day. Perhaps someday I too will join them; and I pray like St. Therese d' Lisieux that I might achieve great sainthood by becoming nothing, a grain of sand trampled underfoot and forgotten.

Dear Emily, I Killed A Fly

2011-10-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Emily, IKilled A Fly

He (she? it?)had been with me since I got to the hermitage on Monday. He left me alone. But I wanted himdead. I sit in front of the firethese beautiful October days and watch the dancing lights. Gentle breeze is the light’s paintbrush,the shadows are canvas. Everythingis tempura on paper – thick but superficial (like this writing).

So I finallykilled him. For two days he buzzed around my smelly old body – heaven for him Iam sure. He doesn’t need much tobe happy – just a taste. He justindulges in me. But I object. But he is a person to me. Yeah, I killed him after I’d spenthours imagining his personality and motives.

“I just have torest! I fly and move, and go gogo. How busy I am. Here on Monday I am fresh; but thisslow peaceful Wednesday I am ready to slow down,” he says.

I imagine hewants to torment me. Funny howdualists think heaven will have no flies or mosquitoes. Why should heaven be so sterile, cleanor neutered? Why can’t we imagineno fears, tears or pain AND mosquitoes and flies? Like poor Lazarus, maybe this little guy is sent to tell meto wake up! “Wake up O Sleeper andChrist’s light will shine on you!”

Maybe I want tokill the fly because I am separate from him, and I want to keep it thatway: separate from all that is notme and my kingdom. I am captain ofmy own ship, master: Creation ismine! Like ol’ Melkor, I only knowhow to sing out of tune, and make orcs in response to elves, burn instead ofgrow, clouds instead of starlight. I kill because I need to kill to affirm my god-status.

Seconds andminutes tick by and the fly keeps trying to tell me something: “He loves you. I need you.”

“Well I don’tneed you – you touched me. Andnobody touches me, ‘friend.’ Flyreally close to the fire and you’ll get energy as your fluids warm beyondwildest dreams, fly.”

Well he ain’tstupid. I am though. I get fixatedon killing a fly.

The poor are afly. We trap them between thescreen and closed window and cruelly forget about them, pull the shade and letnature take its course. If the flyis lucky then there is a jumping spider in there with him and his life will beshort and oh so sweet.

“The Land mustnot be sold permanently, because the land is mine and you are but aliens and mytenants.” – Leviticus 25.23

What we need isJubilee like good Dr. Luke prescribes. “All you flies can land on me, buzz me, drink from my aroma!” There – free at last to just be at homein heaven where you are, like in the inner city, in the worst of it, the mostdangerous place. We who are inpower do things right. And ourmight makes us right (Habbakuk).

So the poor areflies now are they? So you want tokeep them, control them, love them and squeeze them – possess the poor? So we jump from smelly shoes to thechurch’s pet? De La Torre isright: justice never comes from above, always from below. But Marx was always just anotherversion of violence – not Jubilee.

I need thepoor. I need the fly.

Weneed a cross to bear, not a cage, not a window, and not a rolled upnewspaper. I killed the fly. And now I am remorseful. Better spoken, I am alone.

The fire isdying out. The day is gettingolder, the fly is dead and I have to go home to my productive life again, backto my self-made Israelite slavery at home. Home but not free. I am a slave to comfort and safety and increase. “Increase.” That’s a damnable name for a child. My little dead fly would never be named“Increase.” He’d be named “Yes, mychild.”

I think I killedthe fly because I fear the touch – the merger of heaven and me. My false surface self cannot accept thesinking down into the depths of g-d, the falling, falling, falling. We call it “The Fall” because we fearit so. Total depravity is neverreally grasped by us. We can’timagine ourselves as poor and greedy as we really are.

Flee! Yes, we must flee because we fear. Silence! Yes, silence because we chatter and jabber like threatened squirrels. Repose! Yes, because we are lunging at a fly with a rolled upnewspaper. Our entire life isfilled with swatting fly after fly. How vain. How sad.

The fly wins,Emily. The Windows do close, andthe sight no longer sees. But weonly rot to become the food of flies. We make the flies so happy. Our rottenness is so appreciated. My little fly just wanted to show me his appreciation in advance. And I can’t even hardly thank g-d formy life? No wonder the mourner’sKaddish is nothing by praise!

The Kaddish –upon the death of my fly:

May his greatName grow exalted and sanctified in the world that He created as He willed. “Amen.”

May He givereign to His kingship in your lifetimes and in your days, and in the lifetimesof the entire Family of Israel, swiftly and soon. “Amen.”

May His greatName be blessed forever and every.

Blessed,praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, mighty, upraised, and lauded be the Nameof the Holy One,

Blessed is He – “Blessedis He” – beyond any blessing and song, praise and consolation that are utteredin the world. “Amen.”

May there beabundant peace from Heaven, and Life upon us and upon all Israel. “Amen.”

He Who makes peacein His heights, may He make peace, upon us and upon all Israel. “Amen.”

Pass the Test of John the Baptizer

2011-06-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

My eight-year-old son is fond of this quote: "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." He must have learned this at his special school program for smart kids. Maybe it resonates with him at some deep level because he was once an orphan - and many of the world's great leaders were once orphans.

John the Baptist, Jesus' cousin, achieved greatness. Born, achieved, and thrust - he had all three paths to greatness. Today is just about my favorite "saint day" - John the Baptizer Day, June 24th, the exact opposite of Jesus' birthday. I like this little irony the church cooked up: "let's put John's birthday six months before Jesus' (which is true historically) but the irony of John's Solemnity is how it makes John small. John's got smallnicity. We should be thrust into smallnicity.

There's a lot of talk about being like Jesus, but we should consider being like John. At least it has a bit more potential for success. After all, it is hard to become the most famous person in human history. But to become nothing - I can aspire to that. St. Therese d' Lisieux aspired to this goal... "that I could achieve sainthood by becoming nothing, a grain of sand trampled underfoot." Actually Therese thought Jesus was small, trampled underfoot by the world. True - crucified in the backwaters of the Roman Empire - a nobody who changed the world.

I guess I am thinking of John because he was even more so forgotten. And that's the John Test for us: may Jesus increase and we decrease. May our day be 182.5 days away from Jesus' glory. May we pass the test of smallnicity.

Some five years ago I decided to give away the majority of all the powerful and prestigious parts of pastoring to someone who did not earn or "deserve" such a powerful privilege, my new associate pastor. Don't get me wrong, Garrett is a good preacher and all around nice guy with a sharper-than- most mind. But what founding pastor gives away all the best of what he worked for? I had been reading the contemplatives - Teresa of Avila, Henri Nouwen, Thomas Merton and even Eugene Peterson. I was hanging out with contemplative friends like Rev. Dr. Craig Babb. I was leaning hard into my monthly solitude (hermitage). I was beginning to hang around monks.

I entered into the grand John experiment: become less. I told Garrett he was in charge of resources. I told him he should be called "another pastor" instead of a lesser-than-me title. Since then I have struggled weekly to maintain a low profile. It isn't easy. My entrepreneurial drive, my founder role, my visionary creative core have all been submerged into the great John test. I even have to refrain from thanking and praising the best premier staff a pastor could have. I know they think it is weird, but the moment I thank them and give out awards I grab back the authority and responsibility of their success. As it is, they do it all themselves and know it. Strange isn't it, that thanking someone and evaluating someone steals their achievement? Thanking is a type of control. But control it is.

John gave up control. John ends up questioning Jesus' agenda. "Are you the Expected One?" John ends up losing his head. John became nothing - except that he is famous for being 'not famous.'

What if we pursued our faith in Christ quietly behind the scenes? What if we didn't need to control Washington DC? What if we didn't need our photo taken with a poor child in Haiti? What if our art isn't in a gallery? What if our team doesn't win? What if we didn't need to have a top ten CCM song on the radio? What if our ultra cool discipleship program idea isn't funded? What if nobody reads our blog? What if we could speak the prophetic word of g-d and let the chips fall where they may - even if we are disliked by some in our own church? (I am thinking of my recent rift with those who didn't like me questioning America's militarism, default to violence and hegemonic power - because those in power always - I mean always - maintain position of privilege - even Christians.) What if every time we we are ignored it drives us to the feet of Jesus? What if our job was to make sure everyone else is acknowledged? How would you accomplish this? For now, for me it is to say very little. With younger emerging leaders however, it is necessary to applaud them. We must embrace the great humiliation. Fr. Richard Rohr said we should pray for one humiliation each day.

I believe there are millions of quiet unknown saints living quiet selfless lives serving the world - a world that may very well hate Christians (and I think the some of the western world hates Christians mostly because they've sought out power and position). But what if - what if we are simply ignored and absolutely unknown? What if nobody ever thanks us, gives us an award, acknowledges us in their book, or declares that we changed their life? May we pass the test of John and pursue smallnicity.

Redefining Martyrdom on Pentecost

2011-06-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today is Pentecost. I am offering a prayer. At church, I am giving Katherine Krause's prayer for those who suffer and in pain. She wrote a fine prayer.

I am intrigued by yet another Eastern Orthodox vantage point on life.

Here is an excerpt from Alexander Schmemann about suffering and dying:

Here is a man suffering on his bed of pain and the Church comes to him to perform the sacrament of healing [anointing with oil]. For this man, as for every man in the whole world, suffering can be defeat, the way of complete surrender to darkness, despair and solitude. It can be dying in the very real sense of Man and of Life in him. The Church does not come to restore health in this man, simply to replace medicine when medicine has exhausted its own possibilities. The Church comes to take this man into the Love, the Light and the Life of Christ. It comes not merely to "comfort" him in his sufferings, not to "help" him, but to make him a martyr, a witness to Christ in his very sufferings. A martyr is one who beholds "the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing on the right hand of God" (Acts 7:56). A martyr is one for whom God is not another - and the last - chance to stop the awful pain; God is his very life, and thus everything in his life comes to God, and ascends to the fullness of Love. (For the Life of the World, p 103)

That's the Eastern Orthodox view of "healing." Death and dying are enemies of us, but they are within Life.

What do you think?

I like Schmemann's position. He doesn't cave into the two-storey universe where there are hospitals, doctors, and medicine down here, and then after we've done all that we can to save ourselves, as last resort we turn to the priest and his "god of the volcano" and make our desperate petitions for mercy - it's just an add-on to an otherwise secular lifestyle. Schmemann has the biggest picture in mind: all of this is within G-d. All of this is ultimately within Life. He doesn't cave into the moment, but leverages the moment for a witness about the Reality of the hope of Christ in our midst. ("Reality" is the same as Presence, Truth, Love)

Perhaps we should pray when we suffer, "Lord, help me to be a witness to Christ and his Life." C.S. Lewis once said something like... g-d whispers to us, but shouts to us in our pain. Perhaps our pain shouts not to us, but to the world: "Christ has overcome pain, suffering, dying and death!"

Poem: Americanaire

2011-06-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

I got my Bible and I'm speeding along
I got my Bible and I'm speeding along
I got my Bible and I'm speeding along
I smash the gas and I can't do nobody wrong

I threw a stick away up in the air
I threw a stick away up in the air
I threw a stick away up in the air
He got hit in the head but I don't scare

I turn my back and I walk away
I turn my back and I walk away
I turn my back and I walk away
That's about it, that's all I got to say

'cept, as I walk I pump my fist in the air
As I walk I pump my fist in the air
As I walk I pump my fist in the air
I got my Bible - I'm an Americanaire

My Unpopular Response and Position

2011-05-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

I really didn't mean to be controversial last Sunday. I inadvertently used some language that wasn't polite, for which I am sorry. But the force of the scripture is consistent: 'those in power run roughshod over the poor and voiceless.' As Christ followers our identity is always (default) with the voiceless. "Identity" does not mean agreement or consent - Jesus did not agree with extortion or prostitution. Identity means compassion - even for those who hate us ("turn the other check," the Good Samaritan... etc). This identity with the marginalized is reflective of Jesus' community, and his own journey to the cross. I am not in favor of killing by anyone. I am very close to being an unwilling pacifist. And I believe that Americanism goes to the violent too quickly. It is my role and office to speak out against such things even if they are unpopular and it costs me and all of us popularity. Each minister (and you as well) is prophet, poet and priest. As preacher my job is is to 'comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.' It is usually difficult to do both at once.

There is a reason why terrorism exists and more so why it is aimed at America. And it isn't because the terrorists (and I do choose that word) are innately evil. I believe they are desperate. That said, they have chosen the absolutely most unChrist-like response, and they will/do reap the consequence - and so shall/does America for its own response. I am overwhelmed by own personal complicity within the hegemony. This cannot continue. I must act out my faith. You too.

I am thankful this Memorial Day weekend for the American military, which keeps us free, so I am able to critique the militarism of our culture. Anything else is fascism. Only fascism expects submission of the church to the military because it offers protection to the church. This is nothing less than state religion. We must remember originally we had separation of church and state because the church did not want the state interfering or imposing a religion upon the people (and not the other way around as is thought these days).

At much risk I quote Lewis Sinclair (1930s): "I love America. I just don't like it."

I love the Chesterton quote sent to me today: "I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean." Thanks, and I will use it, hopefully often.

I have one more quote. This one comes from a modern Carmelite monk outside Jerusalem at Mt. Carmel. Given their vulnerable location, the Carmelites are often overrun and beaten and killed by thieves, terrorists and radical Jews and Muslims. When the monk was asked how they felt about so many people treating them so poorly, the monk replied, "We are monks. We have no enemies."

We are Christians. We have no enemies.

Peace, Pastor Dan Wilburn, A.M.O.

Flee to Jesus and Anastasia

2011-04-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

The resurrection was such a central part of the first church's gospel that some Gentiles asked Paul, "So just who is this Jesus and Anastasia?" Anastasis is Greek for resurrection. The two words were always paired: Jesus and Resurrection.

We should flee then to Jesus and his resurrection. Why? Many Evangelical Christians misunderstand the point of the resurrection at the time of the first church. They might think resurrection just shows proof of Jesus' divinity. They might think resurrection was a power-proof of g-d's supernatural abilities. Evangelicals focus so much on Good Friday and the cross that they have little to really celebrate on Easter. I mean, after one's sins are atoned for, what else is there? We already know we are going heaven, right? So what's the big deal about the resurrection? You see how we fail to grasp the resurrection? I remember going to a good Evangelical church years ago that basically did a Good Friday service on Easter Sunday. Yeah boy. It's always a bit disconcerting to kill off Jesus on Easter morning.

Good theology requires we understand the core definition of the word resurrection. Resurrection was not disembodied spirits. Nor was resurrection resuscitation. Resurrection by definition is a new way of existing. Jesus is the first born of the new existence. It is called resurrection. Since Ezekiel 37 Jews had spoken of resurrection, but it was just a spiritual existence. The Maccabees thought they would be resurrected as well - but again it was only a spiritual state of existence.

It is telling that after Jesus' resurrection those disciple who had just a few days earlier ran away from Jesus were now bravely talking him up. And not like they thought the week before -- that is, Jesus as a military political victor. No, now they talked about a new Kingdom here on earth. A new epoch had begun. The world had changed. Time was remarked. The old way of death and decay, slavery and oppression was obsolete. Jesus without Anastasia made no sense to the Apostles and the early church.

How do we live with the resurrection of Jesus? In this life within life we suffer and still die. Not everyone or everything in creation has been resurrected. That was the Jewish expectation (and it was very nationalistic by Jesus' time). One man Jesus has been raised in the middle of time - a first fruit of our future brought to bear in the present. Our present status is one of an assured confident Hope. I do not like the Emergent notion that we are just some bedraggled little band of exiles in this world. That's just Gen X power-angst speaking (read "sour grapes" here). No. We are victorious and powerful. Death is dead. Its stinger removed. Competitive materialism no longer drives us. We enjoy every moment, every tear, every morsel, every smile, every song, every lament - a joy that only comes from belonging to Christ, in Christ. To smile and weep is to be alive.

Now the Sun shines down upon our sunflower faces and we lift up our heads to meet his morning dawn, his light and warmth. All the day long we follow the Sun with our faces lifted. And we sing...

Awake O Sleeper,
Rise from the dead
And Christ will shine on you!

He has risen!
He has risen indeed!

50 teens over for dinner, twice a week - KansasCity.com

2011-02-09T07:14:00.000-08:00

50 teens over for dinner, twice a week - KansasCity.com

Andy and Kylie Ewing find a favorable review in the Kansas City Star newspaper. Click the link above and read the article and look at the pictures.

So Much Restlessness

2011-02-01T08:53:00.000-08:00

January 31, 2011 The Kansas City Star newspaper ran an article about a recently discovered reel-to-reel tape of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s speech of January 1968 at Kansas State University entitled "The Future of Integration." MLKjr responded to President Johnson's State of the Union address, which said we live in a wonderfully prosperous society and yet there was so much restlessness.

King talked about beautiful cars flowing on beautiful highways and 70 million television sets - our society was (and still is) top dog. But what about the restlessness? Why so much restlessness? MLKjr answered:

I would like to answer the President by saying that there is restlessness in this society because we have allowed the means by which we live to out-distance the ends for which we live.

Rephrased, we don't know why we have 70 million television sets - we just accumulate to accumulate. I imagine we are in the pursuit of happiness, the American Dream. I think of a couple of favorite quotes of mine...

We have everything and nothing more.

If you wish to destroy your enemy then give them everything.

As a community of faith we must understand what story we are in - not the consumer story but the humanity story put forth by Jesus. This means we must measure our societal health NOT by who is well-off, but rather by how well-off the least of us are. Second, as a community of faith we must wrestle with 'what it means to be content' - which means we must pick a lifestyle, an austere lifestyle of satisfaction with less than what the Sunday newspaper ads tell us we should be, and austerity for the sake of doing something more important than our own prosperity.

Still, the well-off do not give up their affluence - period. They just don't. Change will come for below, not the rich above. Time will bear out these children of change.

May we not 'allowed the means by which we live to out-distance the ends for which we live.'

How Shall We Now Live?

2011-01-26T07:12:00.000-08:00

We talk about how difficult it is to survive in our inner city, but these statistics make "the killing zipcodes" a reality...

STATISTICS

Recently we had some friends over who live in the inner city (64128). We live in a safe suburb (64063). Around ten o'clock that night someone knocked on our front door, which is unusual for us. But my friend from the inner city bolted straight up out of his chair. The knock was a neighbor looking for something they left in our car. But the auto-response from my friend was telling. We kidded him about it, and all he said, "Hey when someone knocks on your door at ten at night in the inner city you move."

Is our world 'a perfectly safe place to be' as Dr. Dallas Willard phrases it?* Or a violent dangerous place?

Perspective is everything. But I will say this: FEAR is the top sin. Fear keeps us from the good that we must do. Fear keeps us from trusting and submitting to Jesus. Fear keeps us racist. Fear keeps us greedy. Fear is scarcity. Fear that g-d was holding out on them drove Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. Fear keeps sheep standing rather than lying down in green pastures. And fear will keep us out of the inner city.

Is our world safe or dangerous? It depends on who we think calls the shots.

*The Divine Conspiracy, p.66

MLK jr and Displacement

2011-01-17T07:47:00.000-08:00

We just got back from making retreat at Conception Abbey. Retreatants read and discussed Henri Nouwen's chapter called "Displacement" in his older book, Compassion.

I am reminded again that none of us ever change violently or drastically - all at once. We may want to change the world (I realize not everyone expects to change the world, but for those who do...) but we do not change the world quickly. We do not change quick. We change slowly. It took me 15 years to begin giving away significant income, and then mostly because I was forced to by church-planting.

Displacement doesn't happen all at once. To be a change-agent is to feel displaced in one's own society - and then take some small incremental step.

I don't think Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. just suddenly work up one summer day and decided to begin a boycott of the Montgomery transit buses. No, he didn't jump from A to say H - instead he progressed in smaller steps of risk and chance, A to B to C... so forth. I suppose one of his first steps was reading the words of Jesus -

Don't be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Mt. 10

If King was like most of us, at first he did nothing with this statement of Jesus. But King read Gandhi and his teaching on non-violent revolution, which Gandhi learned from Jesus.

Pile on Paul:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. - Gal. 3

Pile on the prophets:

For I know how many are your offenses and how great your sins. There are those who oppress the innocent and take bribes and deprive the poor of justice in the courts. - Amos 5

The people of the land practice extortion and commit robbery; they oppress the poor and needy and mistreat the foreigner, denying them justice. - Ezek. 22

Then comes Jesus in his decisive moment:

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
   because he has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
   and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
   19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” - Luke 4

...and MLKjr makes another "small incremental step"- to be like Jesus, he too must MOVE. Quickly he is in jail. Step G. Somehow King is convinced he MUST do something, the next logical thing: a boycott - actually it sounds rather harmless; yes, inconvenient, but not deadly.

April 4th King unknowingly and unwillingly (unbidden) makes his H-move: he simply steps out of his hotel room on the second floor overlooking a parking lot. And in his death he moves America like no ever had all the way back to the Civil War and Lincoln.

What is my next move, what is your next move? What does the Lord require of us? As Erwin McManus once said, "There are those who want to follow Jesus, and those who must follow Jesus." We change slowly, step by step. But a refusal to take the little step leads to "want to" and not "must."
Keep stepping. If it feels a little uncomfortable, do it anyway. Our greatness lies in our nothingness - just like Jesus.

Poem: Brother Louis Versus Tom Turkey

2010-12-20T08:14:00.000-08:00

Brother Louis Versus Tom Turkey

Ho! There Tom Turkey, lurky, perky, smirky

Hiding in the thicket, hedged in by your picket.

Still I spy your secret.

I hide behind a tree.

I will creep a little closer, and still you cannot see

Noser, Imposer; fetch closer I’ll be.

Smelled you in the delly, welly telly smelly

Steppin’ and a snap it, trodden foot a-crack it.

You can spy all you want

Louis, you old smeller,

Because I’m sly like a wight, a private sort of feller

A bright, aright, a sprite forest dweller.

So say you clucky, lucky ducky, clucky

Barking like a hound with a fox you’d found.

I heard you from afar

Tom, rasping to the ladies.

Thought I’d keep you on your toes, you and your mateys.

Suppose I arose to keep your souls from Hades.

If I aholt ya, note ya, groped ya, poked ya

So to pin your claws back, held your beak that gnaws at,

That’d teach you a fine lesson

In the art of stealthy.

I’d do you no great damage, but turn you wiser, wealthy.

For man is to manage his Man-Age Self be.

Louis, let me free be, me be, flee me, freely

I don’t trust one iota, tricksy since I known ya.

You’d ring my neck

And pluck my plume

My tasty meat for you to eat, and bring me to my doom -

Eat complete to feet! Nothing left to entomb!

You are part right: “pretend friend.” Amend the end,

For we’ve been know to eat you at times when we’d greet you.

But not this time.

Us two are One.

“And how’s that so? A trick trap you’ve spun.

All show you know, I know your web I’ll pull undone.”

This conflict’s but a shadow, sad-o, bad-o, mad-o

A lie devised, The Grand Disguise, a split there lies.

We left each other

Just like two brothers,

One prodigal and wild, the other breathless, smothers

One wild err-child, beguiled thus true and false to the other’s.

This talk is through. Adieu to you, Dear Lou!

I still call the shots, like it or nots.

The upper-hand is mine.

Freedom is no sin.

You’d plow my back – it’d never end.

Crack! Attack back – that’s how I defend.

Shadow Tom don’t run. Be done with fun young one.

You know I can’t defeat you, so it’s impossible to eat you.

All right keep your space.

But I’ve come afar to teach you.

“I don’t want to hear it! You boring old preach, you!

Can’t bear it, dare it, swear it! Spare it I beseech you!”

Tom, you chew Old Lou black and blue through and through.

But you’re not the boss; I skim you like dross.

You float on by,

This pilgrim’s rest a-tarryin’.

Stand still as a tree to quiet Tom’s delirium.

Flee and cleave to Thee: unum est necessarium.*

Tom! Where’d ya go? Flee go? See go? Ego!

Vanished like a vapor, it’s the same ol’ caper.

Gave me the slip,

Left me in the lurch.

We always end this way, both putting on the smurch.

He say, ‘give way some day,’ diabolic saint in a forest church.

* “The one necessary thing”

By Brother Dancha, December 2010

Prose: Sowing Tears

2010-12-09T06:31:00.001-08:00

Sowing Tears

Silence! Be Silent!

The silent rustling of the cold winter stalks

Left trussed upon the frozen clods.

Whispering their memories of bygone summer days

Rain, dark storms, morning dew, heat

Blue and green, brown and black

“Yellow Face to gladden my veins!” say they.

all for nothing

Where is the joy of the harvest?

Who comes with sheaves abounding

And a song on their lips?

The corn stalks stand as totems to an

Earlier promised prosperity

But we stole it, sold it, abused those

Precious gifts: land and soil,

The fertile rows of humanity – children, men and women.

And I, O Lord, yes I, myself ignore them like a Lazarus

And threw them away in the inner city,

Speaking to myself: ‘why won’t the government do something?’

Warm bed, plenty of food, shelter and laughter.

But those still white stalks stand rustling their memories, a lament,

“What has become of our basket of fruit?”

by Brother Dancha 2010 (Amos 8)

The Patron Saint of Pawnbrokers and the Shanghai Tower

2010-12-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

One of my three or four favorite holy days of the year: This is St. Nicholas' Day. Nicholas is the patron saint of pawnbrokers because Nicholas is the patron saint of the poor. How strange that pawnbrokers, who "service" the poor by making leveraged loans usually for desperate situations. This is how we take advantage of the poor. Here's another one: Ol' St. Nick is the patron saint of sailors - uh, er, rather pirates! "Sailors" stole his remains from the Holy Lands about one thousand years ago and carried them off to Italy. I've always thought the shopping mall Santa should have been a pirate... you know, complete with scraggly beard, dirty horizontal black and white striped shirt, peg-leg, eyepatch, parrot, saber -

"ArrR! Little girl, comes to Santy and make known ye wishes if ye may, er I'll run me blade clean through yer scurvy hide, I will! Har Har Har!"

That's more accurate, yes, I think so. That'd make the kids think twice about naughty and nice.

The real Bishop Nicholas one night secretly slipped three bags of gold in to three destitute girl's stockings as they hung out to dry. These were probably young women, no dowry, so they could not be married, and so they were destined for prostitution in the 4th century - bound for the sex trade. Nicholas rescued them. (BTW The symbol for pawnbrokers is three gold bags.)

Nicholas followed Jesus and became nothing, became less - gave up his treasure for a more valuable treasure.

Today's newspaper tells of yet another near tallest building going up in the world: The Shanghai Tower. China now has four of the world's ten tallest buildings under construction. When the world wants to "show their arm of might" they build tall buildings and towers of Babel (they do this if they can't find a polite war to wage some place far away). "Let's make a name for ourselves," the men of the world said to one another.

Meanwhile Nicholas quietly serves and saves, and slips into emptiness - like Jesus.

This is a clear case of "towers versus mangers."

Ironic to me that Nicholas has become the patron saint of holiday commerce: Black Fridays and Cyber Mondays, bottom-lines and profits - another financial tower of the affluent. Now I can go buy that wine glass aerator I really NEED. Nicholas measured success by giving, not building empires. This night 800,000 Chinese peasants will go to sleep, a silent night, a poor night... waiting for you and me and the rest of the world to be Nicholas to them.

Totem and the Unrealized Brilliance of Fred Phelps

2010-11-24T17:37:00.000-08:00

We are using the wrong strategy to put down Fred Phelps.

This morning in The Kansas City Star newspaper the lead article was about fallen United States Army Cpl. Jacob R. Carver who was killed in Afghanistan, and an estimated two to three thousand citizens, patriots and neighbors who lined the funeral route attempting to push Rev. Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church (Topeka, Kansas) far away from the soldier's family funeral at Harrisonville, Missouri's Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church (refer to "A Human Buffer Against Hate" The Kansas City Star Wednesday November 24, 2010, page A1). Phelps believes God is punishing America for the sin of condoning homosexuality, thus the death of Cpl. Carver.

If someone wants to challenge and change a culture they must interfere with the culture's totem. This what Phelps is doing. That is what Jesus did 2,000 years ago, and Jesus changed the world. Totem is a culture's common ancestry, its rootedness, which is so important to a hodgepodge melting pot people like America. Totem is an "idol" of the culture. I don't mean an idol like a fake god, some object carved out of wood or soapstone. I refer to the ritual use of metaphors, symbols and idols as a culture's totem. These idols embody the unspeakable consensus and conscience of a culture. Totem allows a culture to make sense of things like death, fear, freedom, God and injustice. Funerals tap into a culture's totem. Funerals are cultural totem. Warriors are totem. The U.S. flag is totem. The U.S. Constitution (particularly the right to free speech) is idol even though it might appear at first to be legal code, the Constitution actually functions more powerfully as idealism and symbol. And the Bible is totem for America - even those who don't subscribe to it.

Fred Phelps has stumbled into a perfect totem juncture of our culture. Grief must be ritualized to help us make sense of life and death. Fallen warriors are heroes because they sacrificed their lives for the common mandate, which reinforces and speaks validation into a culture, what values they should protect and why their particular way of life must go on. That's powerful totem. America believes it is the world's ideal embodiment of private individual freedom. Everyone should have a vote and some property. Americans come together to ensure individuality. Nothing speaks louder for the rights of individuals than the "right" to a private funeral for one's son, and the right to worship (funeral rite) as one wishes. The words I write are superseded by totem's force: nothing says 'freedom' like the icons of flag and Bible.

Yet, the binding totemic power of the Constitution allows Phelps the freedom to speak his horrific hatred against American culture. Throw in the Bible and U.S. flag for good measure and one has a brilliant Totem. The American people know and feel its power. They are inescapable metaphors for who we are as a people. At this point someone could stack all these symbols up like a Pacific Northwestern Native American "totem pole" and then stand back and declare, "There! There's the whole Phelps and Flag issue in an easy to view totem pole." Just to be ridiculous, let's say it's just a matter of time before someone produces little six-inch tall Phelps and Flag totems suitable for hanging from a car's rear-view mirror. Available at QuikTrip checkout counters for $5.99 each. 'One dollar per totem goes to our fight against hatred.'

Two thousand years ago Jesus did the same thing Phelps is doing now. One of the major differences between Phelps and Jesus, however, is Jesus knew exactly what he was doing when he challenged the totem of Temple, Sabbath, Torah, Kosher and Land. Jesus brilliantly changed the meaning of the all these, including Messiah, through metaphor and story. He never tells us directly what the kingdom of heaven IS, but rather what it is LIKE... 'the kingdom of heaven is like... a mustard seed, yeast, weeds, a pearl, or a net.' Jesus never tells anyone who he is but rather tells them what he is like... 'I am the good shepherd, I am the light, I am the gate...' Jesus sought to expand the tight narrow black and white definitions of Temple, Sabbath, Torah, Kosher and Land. He elevated the conscience of the Jewish identity to a new level beyond the Pharisees' ever increasing narrowing and restricting moralistic worldview. Jesus traded up human identity. Yesterday's prostitute is now whole and the new ideal "Lover" (Mary Magdalene). Yesterday's traitor and extortionist is now the "Giver" and found, the new Insider (Zacchaeus instead of the Pharisees). Jesus rises above the quid pro quo world of Pharisees.

Phelps, on the other hand, is attempting to "tighten" the national conscience, down to a specific identity he's chosen, using the Bible as his indisputable totem (his big stick) - and Phelps is using the right to free speech (the Constitution big stick) to pound his agenda into America's collective conscience. Brilliant. Why write an article or make a speech or be interviewed on Larry King Live when you can mess with the unspeakable symbols and rites of a people? This hits people in their blind gut, not their head, even though they attempt to combat it with their thinking powers. It won't work. The only comeback is totem against totem, in this case, Bible and Constitution against Flag and Warrior. That works beautifully for Phelps' cause. This is how Phelps gains notoriety.

One can tell Phelps' inadvertent strategy works because people in The Star article make conflicted statements: "This soldier died so (Phelps) could do what he does, as stupid as that is." And "I just don't get why he (Phelps) has to do it at funerals." Phelps does what he does at funerals because it works. I say 'inadvertent strategy works' because I do not think Phelps' black and white moralistic dualism is of the same consciousness-level as Jesus. Dualism is all about who's in and who's out, judging, picking who we like and who we don't like, insiders and outsiders, exclusivity and tribalism. For someone like Jesus to widen the cultural norms, one must be inclusive and very open. One must conceive of prostitutes and tax collectors radically different, not against the prevailing morality, but against a new measure, now as viewing the unacceptable as acceptable. Phelps is not inclusive but exclusive. I think he just stumbled into his success. At best he reacted intuitively from the gut. If one messes with the totem they will be successful - for good or evil.

Phelps cannot be overcome with laws and rulings. Speeches and articles like this will not change things. A better more powerful totem must be raised against him. I suggest the church create a ritual for decommissioning soldiers. But before I describe the rite, I have to file my caveat. Militarism goes against my convictions as a Christian. Personally, I do not like America's militarism. According to The Economist, last year (2009) America spent 4.7% of our gross domestic product on the military (The Economist, Nov. 13, 2010, page 28). This is more than any other nation. Some might counter, "Well, yes we spend so much because we have so much to protect and lose." But I'd simply say, 'We spend so much on military because we have so very much.' Affluence creates fear not freedom. At his first inaugural address President Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke those famous words 'the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.' The country was in the middle of The Great Depression. Americans had nothing to loose. Why not lose your fear as well? But when a country is at its peak, when a country is top dog, then anything and everything is loss - all we have to fear is everything!

The soldier's decommission rite does not need to endorse or condemn the military's violence and aggression. The idea of a decommission rite would restore a man or woman's true identity as a human being and not a killer or as killer-support. It is not human to kill. The rite should tell the soldier 'we don't need you to kill anyone for us anymore.' The rite should thank them well. The rite should allow the warrior to express their gratitude that they got to come home - some don't. The rite is needful to heal the damage war does to the soul.

I got this idea from Richard Rohr, O. F. M., who heard of it from the Japanese who have just such a decommissioning for warriors. Rohr says it is called The Loyal Soldier ritual in Japan. Rohr says our country keeps soldiers "at war" by calling them veterans. In our attempt to honor those who sacrifice for the nation we never release them from this calling. I think of the HBO mini-series, Band of Brothers, and where Lt. Winters walks off into the dark by himself at the end of D-Day, grateful that he is somehow alive and he prays that if God will allow him to make it through this war he promises to become a man of peace and find a quiet place out in the country and never fight again. At the end of one day, war has lost its appeal. Winters just set up his own decommissioning rite - and God was present. That's why this is the church's role - even if we adamantly disagree with violence and militarism. The rite fulfills the role of peacemaking and re-humanizing our young adults. I think of my own brothers, one who when he left the Army he was so angry and jaded, that he wanted to burn his uniform in the back yard. My mother stopped him. The colorful language he learned as a soldier came in handy against all things Army. My other brother just never wanted to talk about it. Vietnam is a shadow. So much unresolved pain and anger in our warriors. We need a Peace Ritual, one where we sing America The Beautiful rather than The Star Spangled Banner, where we give thanks for what we have, rather than re-live the battle. Against such a ritual I believe Phelps would have less leg to stand on. Our country would be healthier.

Use the totem. That's the right strategy. It is a shame to let Fred Phelps get the better of use of it, especially in the name of God who came to us as Jesus and made himself nothing, taking on the very form of a servant, and humbled himself and allowed us to crucify him, death upon a cross - the Self-Emptying God. There is no more powerful totem than the cross. We should use it to subdue hatred just like Jesus did.

The Prophetic Imagination and Johnny Cash

2010-11-10T08:02:00.000-08:00

I just purchased "The Essential Johnny Cash" music CD. I've always been a Cash fan. I am drawn to his melancholy brooding, his angry and all that Black. I like his bold pointed lyrics, including the songs he chooses but didn't write. I am thinking Nine Inch Nail's "Hurt."

Cash is a prophet. All musicians are supposed to be prophets (instead of rich superstars). Poetry and lyric are the tools of prophets, so says Walter Brueggemann in his old work, The Prophetic Imagination. The prophets like Jeremiah bring down the hegemonic king with weeping, with symbols like baskets of fruit and plumb lines, shattered clay pots... while sitting in dung and ash. Moses defies Pharaoh and wins over the powers with "Thus says the Lord..." and then Moses brings on the gnats. Pharaoh's magicians can't fake the gnats. Pharaoh is brought down by gnats. Go figure. And figure Brueggemann and Cash do.

Cash's beat, that drivin' walkin' doin' time kind of beat drills deep into the settled comforts of affluent America. Brueggemann says the Powers will pretend to not notice - they need do nothing and the prophet will not have any affect. But still they hammer on, the pronounce, they walk on, they smash symbols in front of us suburbanite Pharaohs... "Thus says the Lord! Some day you who care not about the poor and oppressed will be judged! Someday you who are comfortable will trade places with the garbage scroungers, with Lazarus! You will burn with unquenchable thirst - 'just a drop!' Woe to us for turning away.'

We should listen to Cash and weep. For the most subversive One did: Jesus wept. The Judge became the Parent. The Great One became the Servant - and then turned the world over upside down. With every quarter beat and alternative thumb Johnny Cash keeps drilling that into me. He makes me afraid. I am forewarned. Now that is power.

Hagios Santos

2010-11-01T15:54:00.001-07:00

I did it! Yes, I hung a white ribbon over the front porch today, this banner day, this day of the Holy Saints - Hagios Santos. I love it when I follow through on the little things.

Man, it bugs me when people leave up Halloween decorations on All Saints' Day. It's like leaving up Good Friday decorations through Easter and on into Monday, Tuesday, etc. What a downer.

This The Eve of the Hallowmas

2010-10-31T17:53:00.000-07:00

"All Saints' Day" - the day of the hallowed ones, the saints.

Here it is again, the scary decorations, the kids are out having fun trick-or-treating, and I get to stay home and manage "the bowl" - the candy handouts. I decided this year I wanted to try to ACTUALLY celebrate All Saints' Day - some kind of declaration or decoration. In our church tradition we don't have a Mass or even a prayer. Nothing on November 1st. I never have liked this free-church deficiency. Each year no celebration of All Saints Day bugs me because so much is put into celebrating the demons, devil or scary ancestors. It's just unfair - and telling about our society. But the demons' time is up.

The demons are not scary as much as scared. They know their day is done. They thrive off of chaos, fear, competition and compulsion. Demons are most like hyenas I think; nervously laughing, snapping, crushing - skittering about. They'd kill each other if they could get by with it.

I read the news today, O boy. The demons should be feasting. Tuesday November 2nd is election day and politicians are mud-slinging and avoiding content as usual. Nothing will change, just the names. The economy is at a snail's pace to "recovery." Venezuela started a "currency war," the Economist states. China, the EU, USA - all attempting to control the markets and massage their bottom lines - everyone is attempting to create money without exchanging goods. There's some chaos and fear for you demons to munch. Economics and Politics - the perfect demon treats!

Some would say All Saints' Day is hopeless, a day of bygone days. The Halloween-hyena-frenzy won the day long ago. But I've read the other story, the Jesus story. Jesus won, Jesus wins. A judgment day is coming - yea, has already begun. That's why the demons are in a panic. The demons are about to be cast into the abyss forever. Evil will be judged. Not just demonic evil but human evil. Justice will be served. The past will be corrected and restitution made to all those saints and martyrs who died for Jesus and his cause of love. A prayer for All Saints' Day celebrates "known and unknown saints." All Saints' Day celebrates the no-account saints, the lowly unknowns... I have a church full of them.

The common saints of today are fighting oppressors in Kansas City's inner city, reparenting at risk kids. Others are standing along side the innocent families in Juarez Mexico (Anapra). Others mow vacant lots in the inner city. Others hold babies and play with orphans in Haiti. Others preach the good news. Others scrub toilets. Some lead small groups. A few give money to the leaders in the persecuted underground church in the PRC (China). Another is on her way to Liberia to serve outcast suffering women with fistulas. Another shares her story with others who want out of the sex industry.

-wait a sec, I gotta get door for the trick-or-treaters (like ten times!)

Anyway, all us unknown saints are not wasting our efforts. We are stockpiling the building materials for Jesus' kingdom for use when he returns. (1 Corinthians 3:10-15) Our fearless job these days is to face the evils of the world and do what Jesus did. All our good counts and is saved up. The good you do will come back to you... "well done good and faithful servant. Enter in the joy of your Master."

For these saints as well as the most famous, Perpetua, Jerome, all the others - tomorrow I will hang out a simple white cloth on the front of my house. Why?

When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. 10 They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" 11 Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed. - Revelations 6

A white robe for the waiting martyrs - that's the idea behind the white cloth.

Also for All The Saints on their Day, a prayer:

How shining and splendid are your gifts, O Lord
which you give us for our eternal well-being
Your glory shines radiantly in your saints, O God
In the honour and noble victory of the martyrs.
The white-robed company follow you,
bright with their abundant faith;
They scorned the wicked words of those with this world's power.
For you they sustained fierce beatings, chains, and torments,
they were drained by cruel punishments.
They bore their holy witness to you
who were grounded deep within their hearts;
they were sustained by patience and constancy.
Endowed with your everlasting grace,
may we rejoice forever
with the martyrs in our bright fatherland.
O Christ, in your goodness,
grant to us the gracious heavenly realms of eternal life.
Catholic Prayer, Unknown author, 10th century

Awake O Sleeper

2010-10-04T08:24:00.000-07:00

In 2006 I wrote a poem (song) based on Ephesians chapter five, "Awake O Sleeper." I forgot I wrote it though. But I was just digging through a pile of papers and there it was!

According to Ralph Martin, Worship In The Early Church, the Ephesians hymn was a very early hymn used at baptism. I picture it used at church as well, which very likely included baptisms. I imagine it used on the first day of the week, Sunday at sunrise. Paul speaks of "light" in chapter five. I imagine the first light of sunrise breaking across the gathered people and they recite and sing this hymn:

Wake up O sleeper,
rise from the dead
and Christ will shine on you!

I believe we need richer, deeper and more victorious modern hymnody. I believe we need this victory to not be "split" - not escaping earth and traveling up to heaven, but awakening to the divine presence, waiting and ready for Christ's return. Upon his arrival we must be ready to show him all that we've been working on: stopping violence and oppression, feeding the poor, housing the homeless. I think that's a proper thought for this day, Saint Francis of Assisi Day. Anyway, I have written a few songs attempting this goal over the past few years. But I don't share them. Here's the poem:

Wake Up, O Sleeper (Ephesians 5:14)

Wake up, O Sleeper
Rise from the dead
And Christ will shine on you

Now comes an end to this present age
When powers fall and empires rage
At dawn’s first light and darkness ends
Fall at his feet, revolution begins

Tell the poor and sojourners true
Christ our King walks upon the morning dew
Tell the waves and the angry deep,
“Here ends death’s three day sleep”

Don’t be afraid! But grab a hold
Not swords or spears, but love’s pure hope
Come join the song for this world’s sake
Arise O Sleeper, it is time to wake

Who will tell, who will go
To the earth’s far ends so all may know
The future’s here and in your midst
Your nail pierced hand stops violent fist

2006 9 20 copyright

Why My Sermons Aren't Interesting

2010-09-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

Well now, this might be dangerous. Why my sermons are not interesting: allow me to state the most obvious reason - I am not interesting, nor am I a good preacher, and I just might not be interesting - uh, I said that, right?

After we get past that (and there may not be much past that from your perspective) if my sermons are not interesting it is not because I don't have anything to say. I have tons to say - I am just not sure anyone wants to hear it. Now I think, pray, serve, worship and preach from a deep center, a mystic place. In this day of "what's-in-it-for-me?" church, I wonder how interesting my sermons are. Of course, it doesn't help that I am reading Jeremiah right now: nobody wanted to hear him either!

A few years ago I stopped reading all the consumer (tertiary) Christian books by popular authors like John Ortberg, Erwin McManus and Rob Bell... blah blah blah. For a variety of interior spiritual reasons I just couldn't read them anymore. I just read a few deep theology books... N.T. Wright and Simon Chan... and I read a whole bunch of mystic and spirituality books.

My monthly times of solitude and contemplation began to rephrase my reading of Scripture. Each week I steal away and read. I read Christian spiritual mystics. I read spiritual and sacramental theologies. I read Carl Jung. My core Calvinist theology began to expand to include Orthodox, Catholic and even Arminian ideas. When I read Scripture I feel like I am reading it from a completely different place - and it is difficult to articulate. The cryptic answer for this shift: deep abiding, sitting at Jesus' feet more and more; listening prayer, meditation and contemplation.

But mostly if my sermons are uninteresting it is because I only preach what I hear from g-d, what comes at me unbidden from within. I feel as though I must bake my own bread and not just serve up John Ortberg's good bread. After all, how'd John get his bread?

The big shift here is that I don't pursue the consumer first anymore. Simon Chan says, "Yet all too often the modern sermon is singularly calculated at satisfying the consumer demands of the modern churchgoer." (Spiritual Theology, page 117) I've written hundreds of these consumer-churchgoer sermons and I might add, I've been praised for it, built a nice church and went home just over half the time feeling pretty good about the sermon and the way it was received. Even still it's hard not to think 'what does everyone think of me and that sermon I just unloaded on them?'.

I believe my first job is to teach people how to pray - not how to add on spirituality to their everyday secular lives. By "teach people how to pray" I mean 'how to be in communion with the Father, through the Son and by the presence of the Holy Spirit. This is also called abide in Christ, be in Christ, have faith in Christ (or with/alongside Christ), desire Christ. If preaching teaches and demonstrates how to pray, then good - I will preach. If it expounds the Word so we can learn to be with Christ (prayer) then fine - I will preach. But if preaching is only a consumer-driven activity, then far be it from me - even if it is uninteresting.

Back from China

2010-07-24T22:19:00.000-07:00

It is late at night and I am up. Actually I just woke up from an evening nap. That'll mess up your night. This jet-lag thing gets old real quick. Still, the quiet awake nights are a gift - a listening time. I've become more clear about a few things, a few criticism of the (limited) Chinese church I am around.

The Chinese church is focused on two things: mission training and leadership training. They are thorough-going Evangelicals, which means when they want to have a relationship with g-d it has several qualities in my opinion:

a) MILITARY - to varied degrees it is military (not militant). They use the language of "good soldier" and "battlefield." This language is in response to their hardship and diligence. But it deeply colors their spirituality as well, and this is detrimental to Christ's love and mercy.

b) WESTERN EVANGELICALS - Chinese Evangelicalism is much the same as Western Evangelicalism. When they want to talk discipleship it focuses much on character, moralism and apologetics. Their faith and spirituality is mostly private and individual except for Sunday church.

c) CHURCH - Mostly when they want to think about church - they can't really. Church is just a strange little gathering of believers, who come together to sing worship songs and heard a long teaching sermon. They might pray in the Spirit (an little carry-over from the Pentecostals somehow). But church is secondary and subjugated to Mission. Of course Mission is very important in China: there are hundreds of millions of people who don't know what a Jesus is. A while back while in China it drove me crazy to find the little table for the Lord's Table was also a book stand, a purse stand, a music stand, a drink cup stand - I had to give up attempting to keep it simply "the table."

d) JUSTIFICATION BY FAITH ALONE - One of the largest carry-overs from Western Protestant Evangelical Christianity is a singular theology of Reformation soteriology and substitutionary atonement.

In general, I am not against any of these except that they tend to be unbalanced IF the Chinese wish create and live out their own expression of Evangelical Christianity (a more eastern label is needed here). I would add the following corrective balances:

a) REDEMPTIVE LANGUAGE - Instead of only substitutionary atonement only I'd include a more redemptive nuance, speaking of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:17-21 (note the balance of language with Paul: "ministry of reconciliation" with "to be sin for us"). Chinese Evangelicals should seek a balance with more gospel-centric atonement metaphors... the anointing of Jesus by the sinful woman (Luke 7:36ff), the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11ff), and Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1ff). The Gospel of Luke still offers up a sharp-edged gospel (the rich young ruler, the rich man and Lazarus, etc) of "who's fit for followership." A balance for Romans (the Priestly model - 'get right with YHWH') is needed, a gospel story of the Exodus people (the exilic story of Moses, the Red Sea, baptism, election).

b) "XIAO WO" - Instead of focusing on spirituality as character, with its easy slide into moralism (wouldn't Confucius be happy!) the Chinese Evangelicals should open up to the very eastern ideal of the "xiao wo" or the small self. The small self means the larger whole is more important than the individual. Best I can tell, this concept is pervasive in the Chinese culture. The one party Communism works because the people already embrace themselves as one party. State capitalism is the natural capitalism of a people who frown on individuals taking more than their fair share and making a name. Christianity fits the xiao wo much better than the western rights of the individual ideology. The Chinese church would do well to adapt some kind of monasticism. Communal living, intentional communities, cloistered brothers and sisters should flourish in China IF a) the western model of Christianity wasn't so prevalent, b) the politics allowed this type of assembly and c) Evangelicals were not so blindly opposed to anything Orthodox or Catholic, historic and traditional.   I ran into one woman in China who lives in a Christian community of about one hundred men, women, singles and families. They don't have a formal regula (Rule of Life or Order) per se, but they do keep a common purse and they do worship together.   Prayer compassion, and generosity find their proper strength in this type of fellowship.   Yes, there is always the danger of some kind of toxicity within a closed community. Take the risk.

c) LITURGY - By liturgy I don't mean the Chinese church must become a liturgical church - they don't need to, they don't want to. But they do need more content to their church services. They need to know whey they are there. The sacraments of the Lord's Table and Baptism need to be explored, taught and enriched. China seems to have some kind of mystical, transcendent or cosmic history. But the massive wave of urbanization, affluence and consumerism dominant the new story of China. Progressivism is stamping out China's rich "folkism." Soon enough the Chinese will not know what story they are in, especially since they began with no notion of manifest destiny like America did.   A strong tie to the history and traditions of the church is needed. The Chinese Evangelicals need to understand and adapt the liturgical calendar year... Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Passion Week, Easter, Pentecost and Common Time. This way they can teach themselves and their children they gospel over the year, each year. If there are worries that church will become stale and lifeless, then good Chinese exuberance should solve that worry. The Chinese do everything with zeal. Why not liturgy?

d) CHURCH - G-d's ultimate relationship with humanity has always been the church, not just private salvation based on justification by faith alone. Since the Garden of Eden g-d and humanity are meant to be together. As the Shorter Catechism states: "the chief end of humanity is to glorify g-d and enjoy him forever." Salvation was not "the plan;" "kingdom" was not "the plan." Fellowship with g-d is is the only plan. And while evangelism, redemption and reconciliation are all within our story they are not our destiny: being with the Father is our destiny.   Therefore, both western and Chinese Evangelical churches need a much deeper richer ecclesiology. We need to learn from our past, gather our story and move forward with a fuller gospel, and provide a richer church for those called out ones.

e) SPIRITUALITY - not solely apologetics and mission. Without a deep abiding (John 15) there is no relationship with Jesus. Anything else is just human efforts, or worse capitalistic enterprise. The Chinese church must learn to pray, to listen, to wait upon the Lord and be fed by the hand of Christ first. There is only one thing necessary and that is to sit at the feet of Jesus. If we do so, they we will naturally have something to share with others. Spirituality precipitates mission. The Chinese church I've been around does so well with intercession, petition, faith and trust in g-d for their needs. This is very good. But I do not see them slowing or listening very well (much like the western church, except the Chinese have a more "desperate faith.")

f) THE POOR - Without saying too much here, this is a natural fit for the Christians in China. So many poor! Jesus is there - in his church. I find it curious that there isn't more of a push to take care of the poor within the church. That said, I know that when "saving souls" dominates the theological landscape, all else, including the poor, tend to take a back seat to mission. I've never understood why we Evangelicals so easily separate these as missions instead of just "mission."

Evangelicalism (Western and Chinese) is generally suspect of tradition, mysticism, history and liturgy. We believe we can reinvent the very tradition that was handed down to us in the first place - without acknowledging that it was handed down to us in the first place! But without a some major correction to the Western model of Evangelical Church, the Chinese church will continue to be suspect under the current cultural milieu and politics. Additionally the Chinese church may just repeat the same error of disjunction with society that conservative Christians are currently experiencing in America. But perhaps worst of all, without some corrections, the Christian church may miss out on the very best expression of the church the world has ever seen. The Chinese church is poised to be the most dynamic and authentic church since the church began.

Pilgrimage To China

2010-07-05T19:16:00.000-07:00

Off to China on pilgrimage again.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
       who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
       they make it a place of springs;
       the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,
       till each appears before God in Zion. - 84th Psalm

Strength to strength - nothing to avoid dependence upon g-d alone. I wish I could say this honestly. But I take with me prescriptions, money, phone numbers, change of clothes, books. and so on.

Some day I pray.

John the Baptizer

2010-06-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite Christian day: The Baptizer's Day, the day that is exactly six months from Jesus' birthday - this is cousin John's birthday. Why six months away from Jesus' birthday?

"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

John is as far from Jesus' famous birth as possible. We too should strive not for fame or glory, but as Terese de Lisieux said

He whose kingdom is not of this world showed me that the only condition worth coveting is "to want to be ignored and regarded as nothing, to find joy in contempt of self." I want my face, like the Face of Jesus, to be, as it were, hidden and unrecognised. I longed to suffer and be forgotten. - Autobiography, p88

Jesus says of John:

I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. 12 From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it. - Matthew 11:11-12

Ah, this is the great antinomy of the gospel: to be great one must be nothing, to be famous one must be slave of others, to be rich one must be penniless. Then, only then great sainthood comes.

This day we sit "shivah" with John in prison. Silent. Praising and praying. Contemplating the kingdom and Jesus that is yet to come. And... awaiting our death of glory.

May we die each day.

Define "Spiritual Discipline"

2010-05-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

Spiritual disciplines do not make us holy. Only g-d's grace makes us holy. Disciplines, rather, make us sit loose to the world, and therefore, make obedience possible.

The lack of will to submit to spiritual disciplines belies a person who cannot be saved, by this I mean 'the person cannot submit to the proper conditions for grace to flourish or operate.' Without disciplines g-d's grace has no traction.

This opinion stands in contrast to the Evangelical opinion which versejacks Paul's words in Romans 10:9-10

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

Yet Paul goes on to say in the next sentence "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." TRUST is big word. Our Reformed penchant for rationalism (mental thinking only) empties TRUST of any real force of habit or action, and only leaves us with a passive private salvation within the heart. I can only resort at this point to state the old line: "just because I BELIEVE I can fly doesn't mean I am willing to go jump off the roof." Why? I know better. I'll fall.

Of course the flight metaphor falls apart because even with a very disciplined flapping of the arms my flight will be short and fast. Unless by "discipline" I mean seriously learning how humans have figured out how to "fly." By applying myself I can learn to use a parachute, hang glider or even better, learn the discipline of using an airplane. At this point the flying metaphor is back in full strength: disciplines are never cheap, flippant, shallow or vague, but very concrete and measurable, even academic or scientific - and like using an airplane to fly, we should take them so serious as to mean life or death - we either soar or crash.

To crash as a Christian means we are no different than the world. To be different the Christ follower will handle money differently, entertain differently, think and act regarding the poor and disenfranchised differently, and "involuntarily" tell a Jesus story out of their daily life within g-d's Presence.

But to soar means we practice scripture memorization, tithing, alms-giving, generosity, hospitality, habitually serve the poor, Lectio Divina, pray the divine hours, fast, etc. *(You should assume I mean for all of these disciplines to be done in community - not alone.) Do these disciplines sound exciting?

But someone will say, can I not be saved - that is, get into heaven when I die - without any of this? Perhaps you can. God's goodness is so great, I am sure that He will let you in if He can find any basis at all to do so. But you might wish to think about what your life amounts to before you die, about what kind of person you are becoming, and about whether you really would be comfortable for eternity in the presence of One whose company you have not found especially desirable for the few hours and days of your earthly existence. And He is, after all, One who says to you now, "Follow me!"

- Dallas Willard, The Great Omission, p17

Come With Me

2010-04-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

Come sit with me by the fire
Say nothing
Stare me
Together let’s climb atop the pyre
Our false selves
There me

Come walk with me through her canopy
Drapes of green
Small me
She swings her censer of fertility
Slow quiet push
Thrall me

Come kneel with me, bells toll the hour
Divine song
Sing me
Speak only the words of heaven’s power
Host and Cup
Feed me

Come slip through with me nightshade’s curtain
Four horsemen
Veil me
Stand fast: “No man dies alone,” Merton
Crush Serpent
Break me

Come run with me at dawn’s first light
Entombment
Roll me
I have run the race, fought the good fight
Vict’ry’s won
Scroll me

60 mph doves

2010-04-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

Flee!
Flee!
Flee!

60 miles per hour
the dove flies
and escapes the fowler's snare
protect me from myself
you O One, true One, are ahead of me
O Love, O Lover of me and Knower,
Soul Searcher
Heart Searcher
who knew me before I was formed
you have a plan for me that
no superstition can conquer.

What judge can assess me?
None. No one knows my darkness
my sin goes before me
like an advance team, scouting out opportunity.

I am undone;
demised
tortured

Perhaps the birds are demons, possessed, corrupted.
They call and sing
burdened and frenetic and panicked
they are full of scarcity and fright
they are worthless
yet
yet
yet
yet you know each is worth more to you than gold
Not one falls that you are not mindful of it

Whom shall I fear then?
Death comes knocking - Parades!
And I run out into the street
to see what is the commotion.
"Look, it is DEATH! Be very afraid!
Don't trust g-d for the One is away,
and the One is uncaring! Flee!"

But this is not like a bird.
A bird trusts you O One for its next
seed and bug, and bath and song
the birds sing to the sunrise and welcome
the morning illumination
All demons flee at the light.
the dawn kills fear.
For you O One are Light.

May we flee, flee, flee to you.

Doves fly at 60 miles per hour.

Sanctifies Time

2010-04-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

O God, each year you give us the happiness of celebrating the Lord's resurrection.
By celebrating this feast that sanctifies time
may we attain the reward of rejoicing eternally.

- Grail Psalter for Easter Wednesday April 7th

I am struck by the Psalter's insight that the gospel year "sanctifies time." A good Lent makes for a good Easter. All those days of prayer, contrition, confession, abstinence and fasting - they make time valuable, those days are sanctified by our attentiveness to prayer.

I wish all my time was "sanctified." I wish I would spend all my days at the King's table. I wish I'd never leave. No gap between myself and g-d.

This is possible of course. To walk with Jesus each day is actually easy. It takes a rhythm, a routine, a reminder outside of our will, our self determination.

Wednesday morning around 6:00 a.m. I walked out to get the newspaper and the dark pre-dawn was fully awake and alive with the songs of dozens of birds. Their song was a blasting chorus of Spring. It was sweet and clear and joyous and energetic. "Delight" is the word that comes to mind - like a garden of delights, an Eden I suppose. I smile at my joy. I smirk at my cynicism, which lies just below the thought surface. I will not go there, or as J.R.R. Tolkien put it, 'it isn't a fairy story if we break the frame... you don't want to take the soup apart into its individual pieces, but keep it a stew..." Get it? In other words do not say (I hesitate) don't say "it's just mating calls and territorial calls."

The sanctification of that morning's moment in time comes because I chose to NOT explain it. I just... joined in.

The music of heaven is all around us. The birds sing of the resurrection, the flowers point their faces toward the light. The colors flood back in vivid green; hawthorne trees shoot off their canons of white plume; purples and pinks stand for the coronation in full dress uniform. These are the moments of joy and new creation. Christ has risen, and our time is made holy because we paid attention.

I feel pity for those evangelical churches that do not observe Lent and Passion Week. They miss out on all that sanctified time.

A handful of us make our pilgrimage to Conception Abbey Friday for our contemplative retreat. We will rest and re-create and wrestle. But unlike our last pilgrimage in January with snowy fog, this April trip is always filled with crisp mornings abloom.

May we stand and praise the Author of time and be sanctified!

Indeed!

2010-04-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

6 "Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "
8 Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid. (Mark 16:6-8)

How Rich the Day

2010-04-02T09:39:00.000-07:00

How rich is this day, Good Friday. "Good" because our King has paid the price for our sin. Our Passover has been sacrificed. For sin always costs. Because of this day sin doesn't cost us.

How rich the day...

For HE who sits in the heavens laughs at the nations who believe they are in charge (Psalm 2)

For JESUS who hangs upon the gibbet of the cross and cries out in our deepest cry, "My GOD, My God why have you forgotten me?" G-d as human - such is the Father's love. Death takes him.

For Christ is our High Priest, Christ is our Mediator of the new covenant. But he did not enter and make atonement with the blood bulls and goats. No, he atones with his own blood, the complete, effective, perfect sacrifice - g-d himself. Such love. (Hebrews 9)

How rich the day...

The soldier pierces his side and out comes water and blood.
We are a people marked by the water and blood... "Now the water was a symbol of baptism and the blood, of the holy Eucharist." St. John Chrysostom. From these two - the water and the blood - the church is fashioned. The Church, the bride of Christ is betrothed upon this day, from Jesus' side, like Eve taken from Adam's side, his rib, "bone from my bones, flesh from my flesh!"

For the church was always g-d's plan. Church: the forever fellowship with g-d. The church is not a temporary stage, meant to stay "our current situation" until Jesus returns. No, the church was from the beginning the ideal, the fellowship of g-d and humanity, our "chief end." Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever. (Westminster Shorter Catechism)

Our Lord has sacrificed for his bride, the church. We are loved by the water and blood. Therefore, we worship our Savior. But before we worship... death must be put into its proper place.

And there is one more thing...

there comes to each of us the conversation on the shore of the lake... "Do you love me?"

The Most Evil of Days

2010-03-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

Remembering Passion Week, we should recall that yesterday, Monday, Jesus visited the Temple in Jerusalem. He rode in on the donkey colt as royalty. He looked around the temple. Depending on which gospel evangelist you pay attention to, Jesus then cleared the temple outer court of the money changers. I think we misunderstand the money changers. They weren't just crass profiteers making a shekel off the worshipers. No, they had a righteous function: changing dirty Roman coinage into holy coinage - they kept worshipers from defiling the temple with pagan money. Good men. Jesus clears them out.

No matter which evangelist you read, one thing was certain: today, Tuesday, the religious leaders decided Jesus was a big problem. "By whose authority do you do these things? Who authorized you?" Power struggle.

Today is the most evil day. Today and tomorrow. For today normal men, good men, family men, holy men, loyal men got together and plotted how they can kill Jesus according to the law. Think of the conversations... "He has got to go. He's going to bring down the whole Roman garrison down on us. He's going to cause a riot. Innocent people will ruthlessly get killed. Our nation, our temple and our families are at stake. All our religious deals we've swung with the Romans are in jeopardy. Herod won't stand for some pretender king. He'll do something rash and stupid and really mess it up with the Romans."

I think it was Thomas Merton who said, "It is always the good people who do the most destruction." Why? Because the good men are just like all the rest of us - all of us silently, quietly endorse great evil... we pitch in to straighten out and police a middle eastern oil nation, or quietly endorse Jim Crow laws (but these days they are polite geographic boundaries: inner city vs. suburbia), and defend health care for the middle class at the expense of the oppressed uninsured. Good men do nothing but wag their heads and say, "Such a shame that Jesus man had to die. I suppose he just spoke his mind too often. So what can anyone do?"

Good men do little and defend the status quo. Good men play the game. This day, this Tuesday is the day good men devised a scheme to kill Jesus. I don't want to be a good man.

A Quick Spirituality Glossary

2010-03-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

I keep throwing around a few cryptic terms when I discuss spirituality. Here's a few definitions:

Askesis - Greek word, to do one's best, to endeavor, to apply rigors to our living. Discipline.

Asceticism - the doctrine of askesis, that is, the study of spirituality. It is interesting to me that though I ran across this word I was never taught much about asceticism. I think this is because Evangelicals were so scared of its history since it comes from the desert fathers, monks and mystics. Also, Reformer Martin Luther and the other Reformers threw out the monasteries, and therefore most of the spirituality of asceticism and replaced it with information and doctrinal disciplines. Martin Thornton called ascetical theology "the technique of loving God."

Exercitant - one who exercises spiritual disciplines. (pronounce it by just ignoring the first "t" - X-er-sant)

Contemplative - Eugene Peterson said that contemplation is imagination, and meditation is means study. By "imagination" he means that we should pick up the Bible's story and put ourselves into the story - the story continues with our lives. To meditate means we study to find out what the text meant back then; but contemplation means we start the text's story where history left off.

That'll do for now - too many terms and we'll choke our brains!

Spiritual Order Update - Tempting the Works-Demon

2010-03-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Several people at Lakeland decided to experiment with forming a Spiritual Order at Lakeland this Lent. There are expectations... Lectio Divina at least once a week, celebrate the divine hours three times a day, make contemplative retreat three times a year; do some spiritual reading, pray for some area of the church, come to a Sunday-in-between-services Eucharist... and some more.

How's it going? Comment below if you so desire.

For me, I am getting into the Daily Office (divine hours). I downloaded www.Universalis.com and set my phone alarm for 8:35am, 11:35am and 4:35pm. The Hours show up on my phone. I can read the Psalms and other prayers wherever I happen to be - provided I have the time and place (like NOT driving).

This whole Spiritual Order is a grand experiment. (Hey my 11:35 alarm just went off - be back in a few minutes... .... .... .... Okay, I am back).

The experimental theme has much to do with the complexities of a "check list" spirituality - will we get caught up in the "legalism" and performance of the Order's demands? We decided to error on the side of the check list this time around because most Protestants are so averse to a "works mentality" that they actually just don't have any rigorous spirituality, no habit, no spiritual rhythm, no expectations. And then they sit around a beat themselves up for not having a quiet time, or complain that they want to feel closer to Jesus, but haven't committed themselves to effort. As Dallas Willard puts it "spirituality done wrongly is the cause of some much pain in our world" (my lame paraphrase from memory). Since we tend to suffer from the errors of a do-nothing spirituality, let's just test this supposed check list slippery slope - let us tempt the works-demon - let's just see if this fear is grounded. I am winning! How about you?

The Point of Retreat Is To Go Home

2010-03-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

Fifteen of us just returned Sunday afternoon after a two-night contemplative retreat at Conception Abbey, Conception, Missouri. We did not make retreat to "do our spirituality on retreat" and then return to "normal living" back home. No, we made retreat to re-learn how to be present to g-d AT HOME. Retreat is simply an exercise room - a place to learn new ways of listening to the voice of g-d, and a new way of loving others. To make retreat just for our own selfish introspection is the exact opposite reason why anyone would follow Jesus: "Follow me and I will make you fish for others."

To seek union with God that would imply complete separation (from others) would be to a Christian saint not only absurd but the very opposite of sanctity. - Thomas Merton, The Wisdom of the Desert, p.17

The reason we make retreat is to go home. Home is where the fruit of the Spirit is eaten: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. No one needs these virtues while on retreat (though I'd find it very difficult to be in solitude, silence and prayer without some patience and self-control!) But to go home - now we will need kindness, patience, self-control, etc.

We went on retreat to face our sin and demons. We made retreat to stand up to our self in the mirror - and see our false self and call it out: Judger, Fornicator, Liar... and then receive from Jesus our new name, our new identity, our true self: Rock, Sons of Thunder, Friend, Brother, Beloved, World-Changer, Holy One, Fishers-of-Others, or even Martyrs.

On retreat we hear from Jesus, "I like you." Jesus doesn't love us because he has to, because of some "theological necessity." No, it is more like this...

You fish, and then we will cook and eat the fish together, and sit around the fire together. I have all of heaven at my beck and call. But I have no where else I'd rather be than to be with you. - Jesus

Go home - but do not follow your old pattern of the day. It is time to disrupt the status quo. How? For starters attend Lectio Divina each Wednesday morning, 6:30 a.m. at the Soul Sanctuary's Prayer Circle. Bring your journal, Bible and pen, and continue to listen for the voice of g-d in Scripture and with others.

Do this: set your phone alarm during day and stop for a prayer or reading at lunch time or mid-morning. Yes, it will come as an interruption - that's what we are talking about! Do life different.

More: turn off the radio on the way to work or at home.

The church celebrates the resurrection of Jesus April 4th this year. Begin your new habit or rhythm today and continue at least until Easter.

No one ever drifted into a deeper abiding with Jesus. No one ever continued to do the same thing and got different results. This makes me think of the old Dallas Cowboys' coach, Tom Landry, quote:

My job is to get you to do the things you don't want to do, so you can become the men you always wanted to be.

Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Abstinence and Prudence

2010-03-04T09:07:00.000-08:00

I remember sitting in my counselor's office a few years ago and he told me, "Sex is biological." He meant 'sex is a natural function and urge.' Sex is not a habit or an emotion. It is biological. But like all biological urges sex is within the control of the will. Sex is not evil or bad, no more than hunger is evil or bad.

"All of the seven deadly sins are rooted in the flesh. But unlike Buddhism, which sees desire itself as the root of all evil, Christianity has never identified desire itself as sin. It is inordinate and excessive desire expressing itself compulsively that is seen as sinful. Natural pleasures like food and sex, being part of our true humanity, are good." - Simon Chan, Spiritual Theology, p66

[Seven deadly sins: vainglory, envy, anger, melancholy, greed, gluttony and lust - John Cassian (360-435)]

Augustine described the cardinal virtues as directed towards the world - prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance (as opposed to the theological virtues - faith, hope and love, which direct us to g-d). He states... prudence is "love making a right distinction between what helps it toward God and what might hinder it." (Chan, p92) Temperance and its Chastity are related to the disciplines of abstinence, because they "manage" the will, they control the temptations of the flesh - in our case lust.

The flesh is always the battlefield. Our will either serves the Spirit or serves the flesh. The way of the flesh is slavery, a bad slavery. Whereas slavery to the Spirit is life-giving freedom and peace. No wonder Paul says "I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should." 1 Cor. 9:27 This is why we cannot present ourselves to temptation unaware.

We are caught between a good biological necessity and sex's appetite for indulgence. Dallas Willard thinks therefore, that sex cannot be done away with (read: "the monks got it wrong again"). This is why Paul says "it is better to marry than to burn" 1 Cor. 7:9. Sexuality is indeed a deep drive, a core feature of our identity. No wonder abuse destroys so deeply. No wonder self image and self worth are so integral to one's sexuality. Those men who think no one "good enough" will ever marry them settle for someone with equally low self esteem - as low as themselves and they then proceed to duplicate the same broken dysfunction as their family of origin. Years of pastoring have brought to my office a full array of sexual dysfunction, broken identities, sin, deviance and abuse.

But rather than pronouncing "everyone should work extra hard on controlling their sexual appetites" I'd rather say a) sex is biological - don't try to kill it or you'll end up worse off than before, and b) learn from your sexuality - it is a part of your identity and so it has a massive voice about your neediness, your self-worth, your intimacy quotient. And then c) don't give the devil a foothold - watch over your soul with all care. You've been bought with a very expensive price.

Secrecy and Silence

2010-03-03T07:04:00.000-08:00

Do not speak and speak with haughty words,

let not arrogance come from your mouth...

the bow of the mighty is broken

but the feeble have girded themselves with strength.

- Hannah's Song, mother of Samuel, 1 Samuel 2

From Therese of Lisieux

One evening, after Compline, I looked in vain for my lamp on the shelves where they are kept. As it was the Lent Silence, I couldn't ask for it. I thought - rightly - that a sister had taken it in mistake for hers. So, because of this mistake, I had to spend a whole hour in darkness and it was an evening when I'd planned to do a lot of work. But for the interior light of grace I should certainly have been very sorry for myself. As it was, instead of feeling upset, I rejoiced and thought that true poverty meant being without essentials, not only pleasant things. And in the darkness of my cell my soul was flooded with divine light. - The Autobiography... p94

Dallas Willard: Secrecy rightly practiced enables us to place our public relations department entirely in the hands of God, who lit our candles so we could be the light of the world, not so we could hid under a bushel (Mt. 5:14-16). We allow him to decide when our deeds will be known and when our light will be noticed. - Spirit of the Disciplines, p173

Keep the steam bath door shut.

Simplicity

2010-03-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

"Keeping it simple has fallen on hard times." says Adele Ahlberg Calhoun (Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us p75) I think most of us cannot adequately participate in the spiritual disciplines of Lent because life is too busy and complicated. Basketball practices, workout, go to work early, go to a church meeting, run to the store, get gas... you know the drill. Eugene Peterson thinks the To-Do list is sacred, and not something we get done and out of the way so we can be spiritual.

A fellow Presbyter recently told us that travel is a part of what it takes to stay connected as fellow churches, that we should put forth the effort to go be with other churches. He mentioned the beauty of ancient Jews traveling to Jerusalem for Purim or some other annual festival. I can't help but imagine a long three to five day walk with my family and my village's families all hiking and camping along the way, settling in around the fire at night by the well or spring, perhaps thousands of others doing the same thing - it was a national rhythm. That sounds simple and refreshing. Of course they had their hassles: who will water the garden, feed the flock, tend the chickens, protect the house? Grandma? Who knows. Maybe they thought Purim was a big hassle. But in my imagination I think not.

Then I compare my travel for church meetings in other cities. The best part is driving alone along I-70 for 3.5 hours. I listen to CDs and just enjoy the drive. But other than that, I can't draw many parallels to Jews on pilgrimage "going from strength to strength" and my trips: packing up, drive or fly, get to the hotel, find out where I am going, etc. This isn't really peaceful for me. If it is peaceful it is about like the schedule break one experiences like when one has to go get their teeth cleaned. I hear people fall asleep at the dentist. I am always just that close, but there is something about drills in my mouth that disrupts my relaxation.

I even go on private solitude retreats each month - and they have their set of hassles: arrange with Laurie, pack up, get food, get all the equipment together - each month - I have a check list, a equipment box I keep ready, and it is still mostly a "discipline of inconvenience."

Simplicity is focused primarily on pace of money making and managing money, and the schedule of life. You wanna feel like a weirdo in suburbia? Lead a simple lifestyle. Don't run around, don't do all the sports and kid activities. Minimize shopping. Don't watch television. Don't eat out. Get up early and go to bed early. Read, garden, walk. Sounds like retirees, doesn't it? Imagine a 29 year old doing this. At 24 I was just geeky enough to want to sit and read early on Saturday and Sunday mornings. I'd get my Bisquick biscuits, coffee and big theology books and just read. Maybe I'd put on some Pat Metheny jazz or some bebob jazz. Back then I had no idea that I was slowing. Because the rest of the week was so busy. I just did it because I needed to breath as some point in the week - and I didn't have a family.

Simplicity is an art, a lifestyle. The Quakers got it right: "Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free." Everyone has this gift sitting before them. Do we desire the godward relationship and inner peace, and outer justice, which flows from solitude, silence, fasting, frugality and simplicity?

Dallas Willard and Monasticism part 2

2010-03-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

Last entry I stated that Dr. Dallas Willard, Dean of Philosophy at University of Southern California (Los Angeles), soundly rejects monasticism (see last entry). Willard believes the monastics (6th c) erred on seeing the body as bad and in need of purification, "mortification" - putting to death the flesh rather than putting to death the deeds of the flesh. According to Dr. Simon Chan the Roman Catholics view sin as "spiritual pollutant" (Spiritual Theology). Even though the Catholics and western Benedictine monks perceive sin as forgiven through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus upon the cross, the issue of continued fleshly sin must be dealt with through spiritual disciplines. As Thomas Merton (Sayings of the Desert Fathers) puts it... "the desert fathers and mothers saw the world as a sinking ship from which one must swim to save one's life" (my paraphrase).

From my readings of the monastics over the past few years I am not convinced they see the body as evil, but the monks see the body in need of "training" - disciple, like athletes training to compete. I find monastic communities understand well the influence and power of the flesh for spiritual training. Certainly the body is the locus of temptation and sin. But the monks leverage the bodily rhythms of food, manual labor, sleep and then the power of communal chant and the singing of the Psalms to form one into the image of Christ. [And before I press on, let's just state what we should all understand as "the image of Christ:" we should mean the Virtue of Love, that we should Love g-d with heart, mind, soul and strength; and love our neighbor as our self, which I summarize as "that we should hold no opinion of another," no judgment, but only to think the best of everyone.] If the early desert hermits got it "wrong" then the institutional monks corrected things and have it right from what I've seen.

This leads me to question how Willard understands the function of prayer, particularly the communal prayer of monks - and therefore those of us who gather for the Daily Office using the Celtic Daily Prayer Book or the Grail Psalter.

Several years ago while reading Thomas Merton's Seven Storey Mountain, though never stated or explained, I thought Merton perceived the Divine Hours - the daily schedule of singing prayer and reading the scriptures - as more effective in fighting the Nazis than folding parachutes or firing upon the enemy with a rifle. I did NOT think that Merton was saying 'we need to cajole or coerce the Almighty into doing our bidding' (though petitionary prayer is certainly a huge part of prayer). I felt (and that probably is the right verb - "felt") I felt Merton thought of the Trappist's prayers as "participating" in actions of g-d.

From my limited knowledge of Catholic theology and spirituality, are the monks' prayers then more like contributing to a "treasury of Prayer?" Could be. Obviously g-d knew about the atrocities of war (WWII). Then why were the monks praying? Does g-d need to be pitched and wooed like some cheap capricious Greek god or goddess? No. More accurate, g-d is waiting upon us to catch up. As I continue to remind us... I think g-d is younger than us, I think g-d has more energy than us, happier than us, crackling with newness and creativity. G-d is constantly looking over his shoulder, waving to us to catch up to where he is, like a child running towards a playground, up to a mountain top, rushing towards an Alpine stream to jump in and splash around... and g-d has sword drawn rushing and yelling towards the darkness, leading us into the battle confident of victory. I think our best prayers are the prayers g-d is giving to us. This is aptly called "seeking g-d." Willard: "watching or vigil." (p152)

Additionally, I have a hunch Willard is down on monks because he doesn't believe they are living in the "real world." And yet what do we ask of real "real world" Christian salespersons, accountants and machine operators: "Bring the presence of Christ into your work place." The monks deal will all the same sins as salesmen (just talk to them!) Let's not fall into thinking that there is actually a MORE holy world than the real world - as though construction workers are more holy than monks because they face greater temptations - what?! Each one has a calling, each one a measure of faith.

Now I've talked with Dr. Willard. This is my one claim to fame. He is a wonderful man. When I asked him what he was thinking about he said, "The church." He said those two words with all the depth of the ocean. So I know Willard is thinking about the church all the time. Still, I believe when Willard writes (Spirit of the Disciplines) readers only hear a voice telling them "the spiritual life is an individual effort - get into spiritual shape - exercise by yourself!" I can't help but remember that Willard is Brethren, from the Radical Reformers, who repudiated human authority and institution (read, 'we are suspect of monks'). For centuries the church's metaphor was that of a galley ship; each of us has an oar, and each is dependent upon the other - not individuals training for a marathon.

With this implied individualism no wonder Willard calls for "the church" to center its spiritual practices around scripture memorization. Man, I've heard that for many a years from my Evangelical upbringing. And of course memorization is extremely important. But is it a private effort? I think memorization would happen better if it were done in community - not "memorized" but "exercised." The monks after years of singing the Psalms each month must KNOW the Psalms and other passages. They simply must - how could they not know them? That, folks, is Scripture memorization - praying the Psalms in community. Praying alongside the Holy Spirit, following in the Spirit's shadow (how does pure Light cast a shadow? uh...) If Willard wants us to memorize the Scriptures then why not form communities within the church of Scripture singers, Scripture breathers? I hear the 119th Psalm starting up!

I believe Willard owes more credit to the monks' spirituality. He picks out the worst of them and assumes the best of the modern individual private Evangelical. I'll take a monk over someone like me any day of the week. What the church MUST DO is pursue small "Orders" of vocational pray-ers within the church, for the church, alongside the church. We need to bring back the monastic movement to the Protestant Reformation. Luther did away with it. He might have been right at the time (16th c). But these days I am convinced the potential abuses of the monks (like excessive bodily mortification) are worth risking if we can gain Love - Love for g-d and Love for neighbor. This vocational prayer is the church's most powerful center - and it is missing within Protestantism (see my earlier entry about "Rethinking the Priesthood of All Believers," 12/23/09).

Read Willard. Dr. Willard is so needed today. I think he would even be more useful to us all if he unleashed the power of vocational pray-ers.

PS: Dr. Willard, you said you were thinking about writing a pamphlet about "how to go to church." If you haven't done it yet, please please do. We need your voice, I need your voice. Thank you.

Willard and Monasticism, part 1

2010-02-25T07:41:00.000-08:00

"Solitude is choosing to be alone and to dwell on our experience of isolation from other human beings. Solitude frees us actually." - Dr. Dallas Willard, Spirit of the Disciplines, p160

Willard soundly renounces and condemns monasticism. He says that it misunderstands and misrepresents what it looks like to imitate Christ. He lists many examples of early abuses and just plain 'strangenesses' of the desert fathers... letting worms eat you, sitting on three foot square platforms sixty feet in the air for years... picturing St. Benedict with switches and so forth.

Abuses happen for sure. But I also think Willard doesn't understand vocational prayer. He presents a classic Evangelical assessment of monasticism.

Willards then attacks Protestantism stating "Here is where the Protestant reaction against asceticism comes in: it was a reaction against any essential role of spiritual disciplines in the process of redemption." p144 Willard says that not only Lutherans but Baptists and Pentecostals fell into the anti-Catholic "disciplines" that left little to do but "think" and go to church. "Protestantism made the mistake of simply rejecting the disciplines as essential to the new life in Christ." p147

How do we proceed forward with the spiritual life, with spiritual disciplines? More on this next time.

Lent: The Model of Paul

2010-02-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

"I beat my body and make it my slave." - Paul, 1 Corinthians 9:27

Paul spends years in the desert after his meeting the risen Christ. This came after three days after his Damascus road experience, three days of fasting - no food or drink. Fifteen years later his spends time teaching in Antioch (Syria). Some where in those years he is beaten five times by his fellow Pharisees attempting to bring him back from Christianity. Fasting and prayer accompanied the sending of Paul and Barnabas from Antioch to evangelize Asia Minor. Paul and Barnabas ordained leaders in those cities with fasting and prayer. Paul sacrificed, was frugal and lived simply. He worked for his food. He did not take a wage as an evangelist.

We have a long way to go if we want to "imitate Paul" as he implores his letter readers to do. Dr. Dallas Willard: "We talk about leading a different kind of life, but we also have ready explanations for not being really different." (Spirit of the Disciplines, p108) Are we not following the same Jesus and believing in the same Jesus as Paul? How can we escape following Jesus like Paul?

Paul had a rhythm of fasting, solitude and prayer. It is no fabrication to say that Paul was the original desert father. After his desert preparations THEN he began his ministry. And that was after spending a rigorous life as a Pharisee. Can we escape the same rigors and expect the same results?

Lent is spiritual training. We fight spiritual evils with bodily disciplines.

Tradition and the Church as Christ

2010-02-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

Evangelicals believe church traditions are unbiblical because tradition is only human interpretation of Scripture. Simon Chan quotes former president of Dallas Theological Seminary, Lewis Sperry Chafer who speaks the Evangelical mind toward church tradition

The very fact that I did not study a prescribed course in theology made it possible for me to approach the subject with an unprejudiced mind and to be concerned only with what the Bible actually teaches.

Chan: "...evangelicalism accepts an ahistorical view of the church supported by an ahistorical view of Scripture, cut off from [church] tradition. As a result, the church is constantly being created by one's own action in the here and now on the basis of a Bible viewed as a deposit of propositional truths and timeless principles that can be transposed into any time and situation." (Liturgical Theology, IVP, p30)

This ahistorical church and Bible is detrimental because life and meaning are never without context. The failure to perceive one's own situational interpretation of Scripture leaves the present-moment church without a healthy identity. Identity is always formed out of history. Always. We Evangelicals have fallen into the trap of recent modernism's "myth of objectivity."

My friends in China believe they are 'just reading the scriptures' meaning they believe the Scriptures have a single pure meaning, with perhaps even NOT considering the historical context. Evangelicals scholars however, place a high value on exegetical tools of historicity. Interesting they will legitimately consider the historic settings of say Paul's letter to the Corinthian church but fail to realize any value to say the monastic movement, desert fathers and mothers, creeds, and even the Psalter.

The larger historical church says the church is our mother. Evangelicals are runaways still believing home is a bad place. They miss out of nurturing. They are story-less and thus make the same mistakes as the rest of church - except in spades! Now the free church has some 30,000 denominations within the U.S. Each person thinks they are their own private church. This is heresy: the church is the body of Christ. Beyond nice metaphor, Paul speaks of our necessity for each other in 1 Corinthians 12. It is not a suggestion. It is our "ontology" our being, our identity, our Via, our way.

Therefore, let us explore church traditions - with all caution of course. Let us learn from our "cloud of witnesses..." Augustine on theology, Teresa on prayer, Calvin on justification, Wesley on discipleship, King Jr. on justice ...and on and on. And let us look deeply into the Orthodox and Roman churches for how to be in a rich relationship with Jesus, constant, steadfast, unswayed, and consistent.

My Disciplines for Lent

2010-02-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

For Lent I decided to Engage - rather than abstain or fast. Here's my Lenten Rhythm:

Divine Office - I downloaded an iPhone app of the Catholic Divine Office called Universalis.com. The Office includes Morning Prayer (Lauds), Mid-Morning Prayer (Terce), Midday Prayer (Sext), Afternoon Prayer (None), Evening Prayer (Vespers) and Night Prayer (Compline). I only engage in Morning, Midday and Evening Prayers. Each of these offices include the Introduction "O God, come to my aid..." first Psalm, Canticle, second Psalm, Short Reading, Short Responsory, Canticle (Benedictus in the Morning and Magnificat in the Evening), Prayers and Intercessions (includes the Lord's Prayer) and then a final Blessing. Whew. My dream of reading all the Psalms each cycle however will not occur without reading all the Office hours including one called Vigils, which for some monks happens at 3:15 a.m. Maybe I will add the other three offices that I am missing.

Spiritual Order - Lakeland is underway with a Lenten Challenge prescribed under the auspices of a select group of Lakelanders who are attempting to be vocational pray-ers. I won't list the details of the Order but it is rigorous - highly demanding disciplines and accountability. I will present this stuff sometime during Lent here.

Soul Patch - Whadda? Yep it is back. A few years ago I tried to grow a soul patch during Lent - took my three weeks to finally stop shaving there - running on autopilot you know. I know it sounds silly but believe me, it works well as a daily discipline, and day-long reminder to pray and do the day different. This is my "Nazarene" thing.

Blog - Six days a week I will blog (Sunday off). Writers say writing is a spiritual discipline. I wanna try.

I didn't do any foods this time around. I will keep you posted.

Fasting vs. Abstinence

2010-02-19T07:21:00.000-08:00

Theologian Scot McKnight states

"Some today use the word fasting for not watching TV during Lent, abstaining from desserts, or not watching sports on Sunday. Each of these can be a good discipline for specific individuals, but I do not believe it is accurate to call these things fasting. Why? Because fasting in the Bible describes not eating or not drinking. ...To choose not to watch TV or not to eat savory meats on Friday is not fasting but abstinence. " - Fasting, Thomas Nelson 2009, p.18-19.

Early McKnight quotes Amy Johnson Frykolm, "Fasting... is about three things: attentiveness, compassion and freedom." p.xx These three are sequential -- A then B then C. McKnight says fasting the natural response to "a grievous sacred moment..." death, sin, fear, threats, needs and sickness. The fast results in life, forgiveness, safety, hope answers and health (corresponding to the prior list). Therefore, fasting is all about prayer, that is, talking and listening to and with g-d. I find McKnight's thoughts interesting in that he says "fasting is a response." I tend to think of fasting as something I choose to do without being prompted by some grievous sacred moment like death or sickness.

McKnight says fasting is the most misunderstood of all spiritual practices because it involves "body talk" - our bodies are spiritual temples, conductors, or vessels. Our culture has split our spirit/soul from our body. The result is a great disconnect between food and our body, and prayer and our intimacy with g-d.

Fasting in the Bible never lasts much longer than 12 hours.

Disciplines of Abstinence and Engagement

2010-02-18T05:41:00.000-08:00

Dr. Dallas Willard classifies spiritual disciplines into two categories:

Disciplines of Abstinence

solitude
silence
fasting
frugality
chastity
secrecy
sacrifice

Disciplines of Engagement

study
worship
celebration
service
prayer
fellowship
confession
submission

For Lent last year I gave up the newspaper. I did this to change up my daily routine or rhythm. I wanted to "fast" or abstain from something that told me how to start the day. I wanted a new way to start the day, a way that points me more directly at Jesus. It was difficult to give up the newspaper during March Madness college basketball - and being a Jayhawk nonetheless. But it worked. Each day I picked up the newspaper but did not read it. Each day I was reminded to go to prayer and meditate on g-d's Word.

Tomorrow, I will say what I am doing this year. And the rest of Lent I plan to expound on the disciplines of the Christian faith, particularly Willard's classifications.

The Prayers of the Heart: The Psalms (and what happened to them?)

2010-01-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

Traditionally, the church has sung and chanted the Psalms since at least the 4th century BCE and of course David and the Jews sung the Psalms. "Psalms" means Songs. But the Psalms and the singing of the Psalms disappeared with the Reformation, because Luther did away with the monasteries. He didn't want to endorse the Roman Catholic priestly class. He introduced the doctrine of "the priesthood of all believers" instead. Unfortunately the priesthood of all became the "least-hood of us all" - whatever the least of us did with our spiritual life became the order of the day. [BTW, I know some Protestants sing the Psalms. I am really picking on Evangelicals here.]

The Benedictine monks have continued to sing all 150 Psalms every month - or less. The Psalms express the full breadth of the human condition... we rejoice at the coming of the sun, we celebrate the harvest of plenty, we love, we hate, we wish our enemies dead! We sing and rejoice at the goodness of g-d. We cry out and yell towards g-d, "Where are you?" Our friends and family are sick or gone and we turn to g-d. We are alone. All this is just a smattering of the human condition expressed in the Psalms.

But here's the most missed point by most Protestant Evangelicals: the Psalms are not meant to be private individual prayers. They were written to be sung in community. The monks got it right - even if they got stuck in Gregorian Chant - which I now think is pretty useful. Actually the strange old sounding tunes of the monks are extremely important because they keep the Psalms "singable" as prayers. The simple tunes keep the pray-ers humble - no one stands out. The monks need each other to pray. What a concept: Christians needing Christians to pray. Simon Chan says "one becomes a practicing Christian by practicing prayer." (Spiritual Theology, 127)

When the Protestant Reformation centered the Christian faith on justification by faith alone (how we are saved by grace), it led to some mistakes that might be just as big of a error as "salvation by works."

Today's Evangelicals are so focused on the letters of Paul. The monks are focused on the Psalms. Evangelicals replaced Spirituality with Apologetics. Apologetics seeks to purge wrong belief rather than Catholic spirituality's purging of sin as moral pollutant. The Reformation speaks of a broken relationship between g-d and humans. I wholly embrace this Reformation's Relational Reconciliation model of atonement (though it should be said the Reformation emphasized the Substitutionary Atonement model more so - Christ took our place on the cross as atoning sacrifice).

The Laity replaced the Priests. The Commoner replaced the Monk. The Letters of Paul replaced the Prayers of the Heart, the Psalms. And Apologetics replaced Spirituality.

Want an interesting discussion? Try and discuss just what is the Evangelical doctrine of Spirituality? After you get past "have a private quiet time" and "listen and sing along with some good worship tunes" it gets thin real quick. No sacramental theology (or practice hardly!), no Virtues (what is prudence, or temperance?), no habitus or askesis (spiritual disciplines), no rhythm to the sunrise to sunset and the nighttime, no theology of work - all we are is just HEADS full of knowledge!

Where are the Pray-ers? The Psalms await us. Spirituality continues to rest on our willing obedience to surrender to Jesus. And folks, studying apologetics with our head ensures we stay in control - of everything! In control of those who disagree with us, in control of the argument, the media, those other churches, the cults - and in control of our minds. Again, we continue to break the first commandment: "Thou shall have no other gods before me."

May we return to the Psalms and allow g-d to come unbidden - and we raise our voices and worship g-d.

Poem: Winter Bride

2010-01-08T16:13:00.001-08:00

Come little flower and walk with me

Through winter’s garden of frosted tree.

Heaven’s breath as settled snow; love’s tune,

“Come King Christ, earth’s redeeming Bridegroom!”

Tread lightly, love, over our bride’s gown.

Green pine, brown branch adorned in white stole

Lays gently ‘gainst cheeks of earth’s deep fold.

Jewels of juncos and jays inlaid

Flash sun, turn gaze toward heaven’s maid.

How shall He reply to such beauty?

With trumpet’s blast and angel’s voices!

Bring forth heaven’s love, “You, His choice is!”

Now little flower, now! Sing sweet bliss;

Closed eyes ready for the Lover’s kiss.

Ah, but little flower’s fast asleep

Assumption Abbey

Ava, Missouri

Brother Dancha

January 5, 2010

Epiphany Feast and the Spirituality of Carrot and Raisin Lemon Jello

2010-01-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

Wednesday January 6th is The Epiphany. The earliest event associated with the Epiphany is Jesus' baptism in the Jordan River by his cousin, the Prophet John. John asked the Jewish nation to purify themselves by walking through the Jordan River as Joshua and the nation had done over a thousand years earlier. "Reclaim the land" was John's agenda. "Be the true people of g-d." "Repent of your sins and be baptized," in other words 'listen to the former prophets (Isaiah, Amos, Joel, etc), do what they say, stop disobeying Torah, stop accommodating the Romans (idolatry, e.g. coinage, contracts, kosher, etc) and embrace your true heritage. [Bible: Gospel of Mark chapter one]

As Jesus walked out of the Jordan on to the promised land a voice from heaven is heard, "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." (v.11) The story of Jesus begins with his designation as the true Son of the Father, the true obedient Hebrew son.

So begins the ministry of Jesus, announcing a new era, a new kingdom, the salvation of all peoples. From this beginning the new people of g-d are born and charged: "go make disciples," go make other true sons and daughters of the Most High's Son. The church is commissioned. The church begins. What is interesting here is the New Testament says the first church was defined by a common meal. Food eaten together in the name of Jesus is serious theology. [Bible: Acts 2:42-47; and see Luke 24:30-31]

This Wednesday our church comes together for a potluck. Here's how we must celebrate. First, we shall not create a large-scale program, driven by staff and some special serving class (ministry team) to set up, think through all the details, figure out if we have enough food. Instead when you show up you will set up the tables and chairs. You will take charge of serving others. It is a spontaneous "potluck" - reach your hand in the pot and see what luck you draw out! Someone special may think through plates and cups and flatware and napkins, but otherwise it is YOU - the church. This is NOT a consumer event, where you come and "the church" (those other people) are supposed to make you comfortable and happy. That is NOT the church. The church is everyone pulling on a oar in the galley ship - not a few hard working pullers (galley slaves) and then a bunch of tourists top side walking around waiting for their next meal.

This Epiphany Feast (potluck) is a grand experiment for us. There is no program. There is no "success/failure" metric. It is a massive disruption of normal suburban living. Typically we'd all stay home and have our own meal, do our own thing. But we will come together in the name of Jesus and simply be together, enjoying small talk and just living together. I must say, I think that idea is very strange and weird to most of us. We don't really know how to be together as a church without a program and plan. Let us leave the formulaic structures to Walmart checkout aisles, the airport security lines, library card catalogs and the like. And let us be together for no reason other than just BEING.

The spiritual part of this Epiphany Feast is to watch ourselves (struggle with awkwardness) and understand that our society is flawed because we don't know how to just be together without a tight plan and purpose. The spiritual work here is to SHOW UP, participate.

Here are the "you don't get it" reasons why someone will not come: a) I don't know anybody there b) it sounds boring c) this takes too much work d) I don't have anything to bring e) how long will it last? f) what if there isn't enough food?

Answers: a) uh, and you expect to get to know others by NOT coming? Are you waiting for some formal meet-and-greet thing? b) here's a word you should know: "eutrapelia" (moderation in entertainment) do we really need to be entertained all the time? c) work? It is called serving others - of course it takes work; the labor of love. d) bring two liters of soda. e) until you leave f) Ah! someone forgot to participate - this is the price we all pay for everyone not participating (read 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 especially verse 26).

Choose who you want to be: in the fellowship of those who change the world, or an isolated private suburban consumer - very comfortable and unchallenged.

Candlelight

2009-12-24T18:55:00.000-08:00

It is the night of nights. There is a winter storm upon us. But we gathered and worshipped our new King, lit candles and sang Silent Night. Many people showed up in spite of the weather.

I remember when we cancelled church in 2003. At 5:15am we stood out back the movie theater in the freezing rain and 'called it.' I watched the television and saw our church name among the church cancellations. I thought up a some small church who might not have needed to cancel. Why? Because they had a church building! In that small church that morning, someone showed up and made coffee, shoveled the doorway and turned on the lights. Maybe a handful of people showed up and they had church - no audio/visual, no big production. Just small souls in a small service, gathered around the one cup. Fellowship came afterwards. There was no place to go. The few scraped together a meal of sorts, dry and Bisquick driven. More coffee. They had little church because they had a big gift: a church building. I will always be grateful for our church building. This night my heart goes out to those churches who do not have a church building of their own.

Tonight I think of the young mother, Mary and her little baby, and Joseph who had to handle all the mess and hassles. This little family had church as well, gathered around the One Cup, the Son. A few shepherds showed up. They had church by candlelight.

Rethinking "The Priesthood of All Believers"

2009-12-23T08:33:00.000-08:00

I have been (slowly) digesting Simon Chan's Spiritual Theology: A Systematic Study of the Christian Life and I am barely past Part One: The Theological Principles of Spiritual Theology, and I got to chapter five, "The Church as the Community of Saints" and these words struck me down...

...when Luther invoked the universal priesthood of all believers and abolished the monastic system, the idea of the church was radically reconceived. Theoretically, it should uplift all believers [to become priests] but in actual fact it tends to reduce them to the lowest common denominator. We wanted to make everyone in the church into robust saints but succeeded only in making mostly mediocre ones. We expected everyone in the church to be the remnant reaching out to the world. But there is a whole body of people belonging to the visible church who are at best partially committed. Where do they fit in? We need a theology that makes sense of their presence. - p105 [Cf. 1 Peter 2:9 for the basis of the doctrine of 'priesthood of all believers']

I believe this is true at our church. We asked people to sign the Full Participants covenant to wholeheartedly strive towards (not perfect) our basic discipleship pattern of Surrender to Jesus, Come Together as the church, and Love Others. But when people raised their hand or signed up signifying submission to the ideal, and then some fail to even begin towards the Surrender Together Love discipleship paradigm, then we are left with - with not much room to act. We could go heavy-handed and chase people down. We could turn a blind eye and say "Well, it is nice to have good intentions to love God. But we all know it is really difficult." Chan quotes an older book by an Anglo-Catholic Martin Thornton, Pastoral Theology: A Reorientation (1956), who calls for a reorienting of what we consider our "target audience" (just to use popular terms though I dislike the marketing language these days). He proposes we do not target "all" but rather those who deliberately commit to a life of contemplative prayer.

The rank and file of our parishes do not queue up at the Rectory door for spiritual counsel; - Thornton, p.13 This is quite true - many within the church are not diligent pursuers of deeper connection with g-d through Jesus. Or more precisely, they do not wish to pursue prayer, contemplative prayer, relational prayer (though let us be clear: they do pray). Thornton says we should focus on those who are deeply committed - not in spite of those who are not, but to help those who are not - yea, FOR those who are not.

Thornton uses the word "remnant" to describe this group of spiritual pray-ers. He is thinking of the 2nd Isaiah group of "faithful" who persevere for the entire Jewish nation (p.22-23). In the Deutero-Isaiah world there are the un-elected Gentiles, the apostate Hebrews, and then this faithful remnant who carry the rest of the nation through their purity of worship and loyalty in religious faith. The remnant act on behalf of the whole nation. Thornton calls this the vicarious principle. The remnant are not a separated special class but rather locate as the center of the nation, their blood pulsating out, giving life to the rest. They are the leaven that leavens the whole lump, the salt that makes the dish taste good, the mustard seed that grows into the large tree. In this vein of thought, the rank and file church-people are infused with the Spirit by being in community with this center. Both need each other.

Let us rethink the dogma of the priesthood of all believers, AND grasp a deeper richer understanding of the CHURCH (ecclesiology) and Presence -- that is, Sacramental Theology. Allow me to decode. Are we the church - no matter where we go even when we are not together? The answer is a qualified 'yes.' We are the church scattered or dispersed. The church sent or in older language, the church Militant. Yet, there is a more demonstrable church when we are gathered, particularly around the Lord's Table, but as well as when we are in casual table fellowship, worshipping, in prayer together. This richer church is Gathered, and best Gathered within the Presence of the Trinity. (Did that really decode anything?)

Let me borrow from Thornton: when a soccer team wins the match, everyone says "we won!" The fans say we won, the benchwarmers say we won, and of course the top five players say we won. The first five did the work, but the rest participate vicariously. What is the church? Is it just the ministers? Catholic ecclesiology believes the Bishops are the church, best I can tell. Is the church a collection of private individuals, EACH AS THE CHURCH - sort of a confederacy of churches? No. The church is the Bride of Christ (implied in Rev.19.7 "new nation"; 22.9,10 "Zion/Jerusalem"; 22.7 "believers"). The church is a pervasive entity - a whole reality. YET the church is compromised of ministers and congregants - individual humans. These individuals become an organic whole when gathered. Now if that is understandable and acceptable, then it follows that within the Body there are various callings, vocations, gifts and so forth. Reference Ephesians chapter four.

Some who are called to prayer (the deepest kind) have a vocation within the church to pray -- not for the church only, not beside the church, or even alongside the church, but AS THE CHURCH - and by such a statement I mean 'pray for those who are not called to deeper prayer.' This makes sense to us if we speak of someone being called to minister to small children. They are called, but I am not. I understand that their 'win' is my 'win.'

Most of us evangelicals lack a proper ecclesiology. We substituted mission for church. We privatized discipleship. And let us admit it: we just have no concept of Sacrament even though Calvin said the church is constituted around Word and Sacrament - what happened to Sacrament being equal to Word? (It was replace by singing). We let 'the priesthood of all believers' run roughshod over the entire church instead of correcting what Luther intended: that the altar would be brought out from behind the veil, and the entire church gets to partake of the host. Priesthood of all believers was an attack on the priestly class (abuses) - but it was never intended to deconstruct the church into private individual 'churches'.

We should take this on. We should enrich our understanding of callings, roles and vocations. We should lean in to our callings. Does this mean that those who are not called to contemplative prayer are off the hook? No. Those who will not, refuse to pursue prayer (and let's be clear: prayer is the core of any religious faith) must be encouraged to go back to the beginning - to be found by Jesus, receive grace and begin the relationship with Jesus. Surrender necessitates Together. No one can be a church unto himself/herself. To say otherwise redefines the word 'church.'

I am considering a called out group of people who pray, and pray AS the church. They would be an Order of pray-ers. They would live out a rule of life, be the most serious about Full Participation, model it, express it, and make it attractive to everyone. But let us stop fooling ourselves into thinking that if everyone isn't a Full Participant then we have failed. That just isn't good ecclesiology; that leaves no space for "the church" and all of its parts. See 1 Corinthians 12-14 and 15 in my opinion. We already have a cross section of the church who regularly make retreat with solitude and silence, participate in Lectio Divina, attend a Day of Solitude and live by a contemplative rule of life within Lakeland. This "remnant" should be an easy idea. However, this word remnant has to go. I'd prefer the term "Spiritual Order." Can you imagine an affluent suburban evangelical church with quiet, humble and hospitable monks wandering about?

I will continue to work this out for now. But I feel this small remnant (Spiritual Order) within a larger corporate reality is the natural outcome of our present trajectory as a spiritual community called 'the church'.

Someone Hid the Innercity Again

2009-12-17T08:40:00.000-08:00

It happened again. Someone moved the graffiti-painted street sign, the demolished brick blocks from the EASTLYNN apartment building, and the prayer write up about our church's involvement at The Hope Center. To be fair, they left one block standing. All of these prayer symbols were sitting on the floor in our Soul Sanctuary, in the back in the middle of the Prayer Circle.

Yes, the inner city was in the way again. It was a stumbling block - literally. You had to walk around it. That is the point: all of us have figured out how to avoid and ignore entire zip codes of crime, violence, poverty, oppression and death. Can't really blame any normal-thinking person for doing so, can we? We have no reason to go to the innercity. As Henri Nouwen tells us 'the innercity is a funeral home - the dead go there to be forgotten.' Why hang out in a funeral home? Because Jesus never saw anyone as dead. They were sleeping, waiting to be awakened. The 'dead' are eternally alive (damned or redeemed.)

Those who stand with Jesus cannot believe the lie that says the inner city is dead, hopelessly dead.

We must put the inner city back in our way, back in our Prayer Circle, back in our driving routes; we must create reasons to be with our fellow humans in the inner city.

This is why we hope to purchase a large brick house in the inner city. We want to renovate it, make it a model house for sustainable green urban living for the economically disadvantaged. We want to make it into a retreat house. We want to assist The Hope Center by providing free living space for The Hope Center staff. The Hope Center works with at-risk students, reparenting, tutoring, challenging, and developing Christ-centered leadership. We want to move in across the street.

So I will place the graffiti sign, the block, the write up back in the center of the Prayer Circle - a stumbling block to many, but a symbol of HOPE for all who believe.

A Prayer for Mealtime

2009-12-03T13:22:00.000-08:00

O King of the Universe, Lord of Bread,

We accept this meal as a moment of your grace, a favor we did not earn.
We realize you give us mercy and blessings.
We bought this food, but you gave it to us.

We enjoy the rising sun that you want to arise.
We enjoy the coming darkness because you give us rest as a grace.

May you reveal yourself to us Lord Jesus in the breaking of the bread.
May we share our blessings with others who have little food,
And be the hands of Jesus.
May we eat in peace and enjoy all good gifts from heaven.

Amen.

Advent Preparation

2009-11-21T18:07:00.000-08:00

Advent is the preparation time for the coming party. The King is coming December 25th! Party preparations are always busy, filled with checklists, to-do’s, cleaning, cooking, invitations, etc. We can all relate to this flurry of activity for our own Christmas day. But this King is still coming - he comes for the heart, the soul. How then does one prepare for a party in one’s soul?

Slowly, unhurriedly, unbusy, quiet, reflective and in holiness. Advent is a time of anticipation and a time of purification. December 6th is the traditional St. Nicholas Day and it is a festive day. Many Christians give gifts on this day and have a huge meal. But the day before is fast from meat. Many Christian traditions around the world celebrate a small series of fasts and feasts during Advent. Lakeland families can capitalize on this tradition by fasting and feasting. Fasting isn’t always a “strict fast” of no food or drink. You may wish to fast from meat once a week during Advent and pray for the world’s hungry. You may wish to fast from sweets, “saving up” and building anticipation for the coming Christmas Day feasting. Be creative and build the excitement towards Christmas Day and you and your family will appreciate the day so much more.

The Discipline of Inconvenience

2009-11-05T17:44:00.000-08:00

A few stout individuals mowed nine lots in the inner city from April 1st until... well they haven't stopped yet. They committed to ten times to raise money to help fund their pilgrimage to China last June ('09). All have continued to go down and mow well beyond their necessary ten times. Over half didn't have mowers. They picked up trash, chopped, sawed and weed-trimmed. Others brought their push mowers from home and beat the heck out of them on beer bottles, ditches, holes, logs, rebar, half-buried bricks and small trees. Several people got poison ivy over and over.

Still they went. They went to stand along side the poor, the criminal, the forgotten and voiceless. They swam upstream in a world that says 'forget about the inner city, it's a lost cause.' If you haven't heard Kansas City MO has the highest number of vacant homes in the nation. This is something the City Council has recently reacted to with some kind of committee to buy up these vacant houses - uh huh. Zip code 64128 is the number one killing zip code in the state of Missouri (we mow next to that zip code, 64130). Tall weeds and unkept vacant houses and vacant lots create a downward spiral of neglect and violence (reference the KC Star, Jan. 26, 2009). So we decided to do our part - and raise funds to go stand along side the politically persecuted house church in China. It's a 2-fer.

As we started the Nine Lots fundraiser/social action idea we discussed the spiritual idea of "Displacement." Displacement is the intentional disruption of our comfortable lives for the sake of solidarity with the poor and voiceless. More than just helping, displacement means "downward mobility" as a lifestyle choice. Mowing lawns in the inner city isn't a radical downward displacement, but it is a nice starting point. Mowing took about two hours minimum. It was (is) difficult to lug your mower in your car 35 minutes downtown when you'd like to be doing other things on Saturday morning. During the summer months we met at 7:30 a.m. to avoid the heat and muggers. I had a profound moment of clarity this summer: I absolutely loathe weed trimming. My trimmer breaks an average of four times; ivy salad flies in my face. I truly dislike trimming. After mowing I'd race home and shower in hope of washing away the poison ivy before it got a foothold.

For weeks I'd ask, "Hey does anyone know anyone with a really big commercial mower we could use so we could knock this thing out in less time?" Silence. Now my car trunk is littered with grass clippings. But standing in the street with Jason one hot August Saturday morning I said, "You know, I don't think we need a big mower. I don't want a big mower. This is supposed to be inconvenient." He nodded yes. We've all learned something this past summer: the discipline of inconvenience. The hassle is most of the soul-benefit. We have been seduced by the displacement!

It is the pain in the - neck of it that matters most for comfortable distant white suburbanites. The discipline of inconvenience is one part suffering, another part purgation, add in a little penance, stir in a big bunch of obedience and determination, blend in 'I-made-a-big -promise-to-my-donors" and you've got the discipline of inconvenience. Everyone goes about their work silently and steadily... prayerfully. Quietly we do the job. The inconvenience of the job forms an attitude of prayer while you're doing it. Inconvenience constantly shouts into your head why you are there. Those who can't figure out why they are there don't last more than a couple of weeks. And let me clarify: I've haven't been down there nearly as much as some. A Lakelander named Terry jumped in even without raising money for a pilgrimage to China.

I think we need more inconvenient serving opportunities, something obscure and hidden, a hassle and thankless. This is akin to Jesus' idea of giving your alms in anonimity... "don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" (Matthew 6:3). I need to weed trim. You need to weed trim (or whatever you loathe). This isn't just some shallow attempt to 'build character' or a sicko thing about social guilt. This is about those who claim to follow Jesus actually following. The Apostle Peter never dreamed that day when he dropped his fishing nets and followed Jesus he'd be crucified upside down for his Lord someday - upside down because he didn't want to disgrace Jesus' crucifixion with his own crucifixion. I am not saying that just because we mow lawns in the inner city we well be crucified someday. But I am definitely saying that if we don't find some inconvenient discipline, some inconvenient point of followership I doubt we will ever seriously surrender to Jesus and be considered a Christian. Besides prayer, out of the discipline of inconvenience flows other benefits: a smart, socially conscious compassion, gratitude and generosity. But those are their own subject.

These words of Garrison Keillor are still some of my favorite: "Give up your good Christian life and come follow Jesus."

Have a very evil, terrifying wicked All Hallowed Ones' Eve

2009-10-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

Halloween is not supposed to be Happy. It is the night before All Saints' Day, the glorious day when the minions of hell are reminded they lost the battle to King Jesus and his holy ones. The holy ones consist of all historical Christians and us today. Halloween has various pagan backgrounds (you can google this stuff all day long if you desire) but for authentic Christians the eve of remembering and celebrating the legacy and victory of the new people of God through Jesus' victory over death and evil, Halloween is nothing more than that moment to watch the demons flail about, torn to bits within their own chaos and destruction.

I find it interesting that local Christians have forced our schools to stop saying Happy Halloween. Now they have Fall Festivals at school instead of Halloween parties. My guess is that none of these Christians understand nor celebrate All Saints' Day November 1st. Yet, I will assume most would celebrate the lives and causes of Christians like Francis of Assisi (the poor), John Calvin (reformed the western church), William Wilberforce (slavery in Britain), Clara Barton (started the Red Cross), Corrie Ten Boom (saved Jews during WWII), Rev. Dr. M.L. King, Jr (civil rights in America), Bishop Desmond Tutu (against Apartheid in S. Africa).

Historical Christians have helped bring education and medicine around the world; come along side the diseased and dying, stood up against tyrants - and been martyred for it; fed and clothed the poor, refused to fight in wars - or refused to celebrate victory over political enemies, propelled the arts, stood up for the rights of unborn, stood up for the rights of the oppressed and the list goes on. (At this point some will point out the evil some Christians have committed - and they have. But in the balance, the good done in the name of Jesus far far far outweighs any wrong done in the name of Jesus. Compare at this point Christian good to the "good" atheists and secularists have done: a few names will suffice - Marx, Stalin, Mao...)

Each saint (holy one) celebrated November 1st stuffs the demons back into their holes. In the end love wins - always. In the end the Devil loses. And let us not fall into the idea that this victory has not occurred at all yet. The Apostle Paul makes this clear over and over that a new kingdom has already begun... Colossians 1:23 "the gospel... has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven..." The victory is won. But the full expression of that kingdom is not realized -- yet (cf. Romans 8:18-39). But it will when the King returns. Until then, do not be scared of Halloween. But realize the demons are real and they are really in trouble - YOU, Christian, are their worst nightmare! For one night, October 31st we allow those who reign in hell to express their anguish and bitter defeat. But bright and early the new day dawns - All Saints' Day. Sing a new song! Announce Jesus is King! Put your hand to the plow and continue to press forward with the work of the kingdom (1 Corinthians 3:12-17 - ...build on the foundation of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit).

Each November 1st at our house I make sure there is no hint of Halloween left over. Every jack-o-lantern or string of lights, or cobweb is hidden or thrown out. Clean out the house of October 31st first thing on November 1st! Bring your small children into this tradition and let them understand the Eve of the Hallowed Ones is just a cheap last ditch cry of a defeated Devil - that October 31st is really the Eve of All Saints' Day. And teach your children that they are children of the new covenant, the victorious ones, the hallowed ones, created for good works, creating the building materials to be used in the kingdom once the King returns.

"Therefore... stand firm. Let nothing move you [especially not Halloween]. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
- 1 Corinthians 15:58

Time is a crop

2009-10-09T14:49:00.000-07:00

I realize once again that my default setting is "more efficient." I signed up for a drawing class during the day so I could be home at night. But the class overlapped a standing meeting. As I searched for another time slot for the standing meeting, I found my self saying these words, "By taking the drawing class during the day, I thought I was being more efficient." In other words, I want to do more in a fixed amount of time each week. The answer therefore is simple: be efficient.

Eugene Peterson says 'hurry is a form of violence done on time.' Henri Nouwen says the best word to describe our lives is "compulsive." I am convinced the demons of our False Self thrive best on chaos. Noise, noise, noise. Televisions on all the time, radio on all the time, just-in-time shopping, squeezed between suburban soccer practice, church meeting, dinner (eaten in mini-vans as God created us to do - J. Ortberg), car fill up, movie rental return, run by the office supply store for a padded envelope... You get the idea.

What if time was not a commodity, which we could barter for, trade for, collateralize and squeeze? Time is a crop. This definition of time means we should think of time as something to be nurtured and tended - not "hot-housed," synthesized or plasticized.

Perhaps the best way to describe time as a crop is to think about our prayers. We want g-d to answer our prayers fast. We fervently pray for a long time because we mistakenly believe that if we load enough time and intensity to our prayers, then g-d will be won over against his will and he will have to do our bidding. This is driven NOT by the desire to hear from the Lord, but to control g-d's will. But if time is thought of as a crop, then WAITING is the bulk of prayer.

Think of time as crop. Now we must WAIT for the winter thaw, WAIT for the right soil moisture, prepare the soil, plant the seed, WAIT for the rain, WAIT for the right temperature, hope against hope that blight, fungus, pests and such don't destroy our TIME plantings (what others think of us will damage our sense of peace more than any spell a demon could ever concoct).

More is NOT the fruit time should bear. Efficiency is not the fruit time should bear. What should time bear? Relationship. Relationship with g-d, SELF, relationship with family, friends, soul-mates, fellow Stuff-marters... humans.

Can we make the sun hurry? Can we make the sun more efficient in it's appointed course? Daylight savings makes me chuckle. We shift the clock in an attempt to hurry the rise of the sun (Fall). How feeble this feels! How weak we really are! We are such pitiable "little gods," working our little incantations upon the sun.

Waiting really is the art of living well. I am no longer convinced Patience is a character trait. No, Patience is listed in the New Testament as a fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). It comes as a result of the Spirit's Presence. How then, does one gain the Spirit's Presence? Not by contrived hurried worship or self-effused prayer. The Spirit comes on its own agenda, its own time. G-d is younger than us. Yes, g-d is young like a child enjoying every moment, lingering, dilly-dallying, playing, creating, laughing, singing, lost in minor moments from our perspective. Time belongs to g-d, he owns it, all of it. G-d needs no Efficiency, g-d needs no More.

Of course it is wrong to say g-d waits, but to us, that is what it feels like. For we are getting older, slower, maybe crankier, and we are in a big hurry. We are restless sheep who cannot lie down (Ps. 23). We are anxious (Phil. 4:6). So we commodify Time... buying and selling Time like a commodity at the Board of Trade. Time has lost its real value - or to say it in technical terms, time as lost its "nomena" or its "realness" and has just become a "phenomena" or Sign or Signifier, a symbol only of Relationship with g-d. No wonder prayer feels cheap and more tricksy, like g-d is a vending machine who won't give what we paid for and demanded, and we now must "shaken 'em down." "Give----me----what----I----want------now!"

Become a Time Farmer. Wait. Prepare prayers. Write them out by hand. Drop out something from your schedule. Throw away the stock certificates of Time and just dilly-dally more. Go slow and watch. Otherwise you and I will be only desperate predators, seeking and prowling for our next Time meal, compulsive and aggressive... angry, greedy.

Eat This Book

2009-07-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

The question was asked, "If you only could eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
"Turkey sandwich."
His answer was as quick and deliberate as a gavel rap. "No question about it, turkey sandwich."
I was thinking about the Bible, the Lord's Table and the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer's petition to g-d after the Eucharist...

Eternal God, heavenly Father, you have graciously accepted us as living members of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ, and you have fed us with spiritual food in the Sacrament of his Body and Blood. Send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart; through Christ our Lord. Amen.

The entire Breaking of the Bread is washed over with edible language...

Alleluia. Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us. The gifts of God for the People of God. Take them in remembrance that Christ died for you, and feed on him in your hearts by faith, with thanksgiving.
The Body of Christ, the bread of heaven.
The Blood of Christ, the cup of salvation.

I love the sacrament of the Lord's Table. I believe the metaphor of food and drink are wonderfully confusing - eat Jesus' body? drink Jesus' blood?

It is like this: It is like when you drop your new ice cream cone on the ground. You want to pick it up and eat it but - yuck! Now this heavenly Jesus is defiled by a crash to earth. Pick it up, eat it. Fortunately our symbols are quite edible: good bread and wine (or lame grape juice in Lakeland's case). Earthly EDIBLE food of heaven is very intentional. We are supposed to think, "Hey, it's only bread and wine. Don't try and tell me it's Jesus' actual body and blood." Of course it isn't real body and blood. But what if we are eating "grace" or "the presence of Jesus"? The right perspective is not 'Jesus' body and blood is here in the bread and wine,' but rather 'food is spiritual' -- if a shared meal with good friends is more than mere food - it is social, then food is spiritual, yes? The raw symbol becomes bigger than its self. Therefore, it is NOT just bread and wine.

How tangible, how earthy, how human and yet transcendent - how mystical. Body and Blood: take, eat.

Now for the other Communion Food: The Bible. The Bible is not a sacrament of the church, but it is a sacred food -- our only food, no question about it. Eat this book. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? The Bible.

Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long... How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! (Psalm 119:97,103)

Beyond inspiration and "infallibility" (and certainly beyond 'inerrancy') the Bible is like food for the soul. When I used to hear "Thy word is sweeter than honey" I thought, "I dunno - it's just a bunch of morals, character qualities - boring." Now I think of the Bible as story and a conversation with g-d. I read it like I read The Hobbit. I want to figure out how it ends up where it ends up.

It's food to me. Daily we eat it, digest it, build the body with it. Real Food, Real Drink - like bread and wine, the Bible is food for the soul.

Take the little book and eat it - Revelation of John, 10:9

Sometimes delicious, sometimes bitter, the Bible speaks into our complex//basic lives. Consume it, feast on it, drink it down, like the Lord's Table, the one Meal.

Back from China and John the Baptizer

2009-06-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Okay - confession: this is one of my most favorite dates - it is John the Baptist Day, the day the church remembers John the Baptist. Why this date? Think about it: what is the date? June 24th. Now remember this quote from John the Baptizer: "He must become greater; I must become less." (Gospel of John 3:30)
Jesus has become more popular than The Baptizer. John's disciples quiz John about Jesus' popularity... "everyone is going to him." John replies, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. ...Jesus must increase, I must decrease." The Prophet John is only a pointer to Jesus, a prophetic voice announcing the coming King and his kingdom. Elijah has come and spoke. Now it is time for him to decrease, to be taken... beheaded. Jesus speaks highly of John - "what did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind - nothing? A man dressed in finery? A man in a palace? No I tell you! There is no one greater than John in the kingdom of heaven. But -- but -- even the least of those in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he." (Matthew 11)
Oh that I could be like John! Jesus the king is born on December 25th. So the church places John's day as far from Jesus' birthday as possible. One hundred and eighty days opposite of Jesus, June 25th - this is John's Day. Truth be told, I think I look forward to John's Day more than Christmas. Why? I must become less, He must become greater in my life. I feel more attraction to John than Jesus. I know I am suppose to imitate Jesus, but I want to imitate John. I must decrease, become less. Then and only then will I be great in heaven's eyes. This is my Via Negativa - the great Kenosis, the great emptying of my SELF, silently caught up in the flame of god's grace, consumed, every thought captive, every moment sitting at the feet of Jesus. Moving out under the hand of the Holy Spirit with joy and power - DOING out of my BEING, my belongedness, not out of my head and hands or skills and talents. May we be so compelled to announce the King and his kingdom - like John, like Elijah, hand to the plow, no turning back, Surrendered.
China always drives me to this Day. In China I am surrounded by Baptizers. May I be like those in the persecuted house church in China.
"Let us go also, that we might die with him."

The End of Easter Season and The Great Permission

2009-05-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

"In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, for I live and you will live" -- Alleluia!

I listened to the monks of Conception Abbey chant these words of Jesus. I felt a peace settle within me: it's the end of Easter - seven weeks after the Resurrection, then the next day is Pentecost (this year, May 31st).

"Go and make disciples..." says Jesus at the end of Matthew's gospel. We call this The Great Commission, but I think it should be called The Great Permission. Jump to Acts chapter 1 (verse six) and we find the disciples asking Jesus, "Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?"

The disciples wanted the kingdom to come, on earth as in heaven. They wanted Permission to GO - to make it so. The disciples were still, even at this last moment before Jesus' ascension, still thinking of "empire and conquest" - "Now Jesus, will you kick out the Romans and restore King David's reign when we were top nation?"

"Yes, the kingdom is come," Jesus replies. "But not how you think." The telling TURN comes next. Jesus ascends. Two men dressed in white stand there beside them. "Men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking into the sky...?" The two men say Jesus is coming back. But you've got work to do: GO! The disciples don't need to be told - like a shot, they are off to Jerusalem, the political, social and religious capital.

Fifty days after the Passover comes Pentecost and the Holy Spirit comes with tongues of fire. The church explodes.

Much of the time I feel like we are standing staring at the sky. We seem to be confused about "what time it is." Like the disciples, we ask "Is this the time...?" Then we fill in some lame self-conscious answers like... "fix my life, grow our church, straighten out my kid, end my addiction..." I suppose these are legitimate prayers. But they do not answer the question "What time is it?"

What time is it? It is time to collect the building materials for the kingdom of heaven on earth. What are these materials? Beyond redeemed souls, the kingdom of g-d according to Jesus is made up of energetic "greedy" children, the rich who share lavishly and live like everyone else, those who pray for peace, work for justice, take massive risks to life and comforts. Like King David, we are to be stockpiling materials so the next King (Solomon) can actually build the temple. David made plans and drawings, gathered the money and materials, but he never actually saw the temple built in his lifetime.

I believe Jesus comes back (we don't go away - we go to meet him and bring him here). When Jesus arrives what he should find are faithful obedience vineyard workers; investors who can say 'see Master, your one asset (talent) has increased tenfold!' I believe we should be fluent in the language of the kingdom of heaven BEFORE the kingdom comes in full.

Get on with the work. Beyond just a "commission," we have Permission. It is time to fight the right fight for justice and love, and walk away from materialism and consumer comforts.

You kingdom come, your will be done on earth during our lifetime with our lives as though heaven is realized for what it really is: heaven is all around us NOW.

The Killing Gap

2009-05-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

"My God, it is that gap and that distance which kill me."

-- Thomas Merton, Seven Storey Mountain, p421

I just came back from retreat. Three days at Conception Abbey. It wasn't that great. I was befuddled, anxious, distracted. I hadn't been on retreat since the end of March. See, this is what happens. I lost my rhythm. And to boot, preaching, two funerals, and going to China in a couple of weeks. Merton felt a gap between g-d and him. He craved constant connection with g-d - constant Presence.

Truthfully, all I live in is gap. It is the all-too-infrequent spark of the divine that snaps me to attention. But the sparks are few and far between... too far between.

The answer: flee, flee, flee. Flee to silence. Flee productivity. Flee. My hands got ahead of my heart and my mind. I stopped taking every thought captive to g-d. I settled in for Control of my universe. And I do so naturally - control is my default setting.

Flee inward to solitude. Stare down the false self. Cut deep. Go to the dark night and wrestle all night and walk away limping. But - also - get a new name: one who wrestles with g-d. Yes. Flee and wrestle. There is no other way. All else is just self-made sin management, meant to put me in control.

Close the gap. Flee. What other choice do we have?

Parent as Poet, Priest and Prophet

2009-05-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

Parents spend much of their time raising children from the Expert perspective. While this is reasonable, it doesn't convey Wisdom. I suggest we think of ourselves more as Poets, Priests/Priestesses and Prophets/Prophetesses.

Poet Emily Dickinson said, "Tell the truth, but tell it slant." The parent doesn't have know poetry to act as poet. Poets interpret culture and the world around them for others. A parent must make a turn toward god - gain the eyesight to view all as god's. The sounds in the woods are god's; the sky and stars, lightning and thunder are god's artwork. The Expert explains such natural theology as Science. But the Poet interprets them as belonging to god.

The Priest ushers the child into the Divine Presence. Priestess intermediates the reality of god in our world. So to teach children how to pray is primary. By prayer I certainly do not mean just asking god for stuff and goodness. By prayer I mean listening for god's voice. As Eugene Peterson puts it, "prayer must be a response to something god has said." Centering Prayer is a practice of taking every thought captive to god... of echoing Jesus' prayer, "not my will but your will Father." Frank X. Jelenek wrote "Journey to the Heart: Centering Prayer for Children." His children's book describes and walks a child through this deeper relationship with god. The parent as priest takes the child through the gospel, makes it real, reads the scriptures to their child. An easy way to do this is follow the liturgical calendar year, celebrating the seasons of Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Pentecost and so on. Lakeland provides family guides for these seasons, guides to be used around the kitchen table with candles and stories and prayers.

Parent as Prophet means we declare the truth of god to our children. We sift through the advertisement during a sports game on television. Wisdom is not just guarding children from the world, but teaching them how to be in the world without being seduced by the world - not escapism, determinism and protectionism.

More than just teaching children The Golden Rule, we help them (and ourselves) understand the context around Jesus' words in Luke 6:27-36... that we do not live in a fair and just world but a merciful grace-filled world, a mercy from the Father. We should not seek justice before we seek mercy so says Jesus.

Parenting is more art than information-download. In short, parents MUST sit at the feet of Jesus first. Every parent is pouring something into the empty cup of a child. May it be the heart of god, the life of Jesus, the real presence of the Spirit. May our children walk their days under the sun of god, the light of uniqueness and never lose their wonderment at the beauty of god. And may we parents prepare them for Wisdom and not just Expert.

China's Take, and Take Some More

2009-04-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

I respond to Mint.com's recent visual comparison between the US and China.

I read the Economist, so I tend to see/read this economic/political/spiritual stuff - at least from their paper's view. And I read a few other items about China here and there, because I have my antenna up for anything on China. The Newsweek special reports never satisfy me. Just too entertainment driven. So the Mint.com stats revealed more.

What gets interesting to me with the Mint.com and China "vs." USA (vs?? really? they are our enemy?) scenario is this: you have a cash-rich China, and no customers now (our money dried up). If they can sell to themselves, good. But they'll have to spread that cash (our cash btw) around. Which they are attempting lavishly.

But will it be enough? Furthermore, China seems a little "angry" with the west b/c we aren't buying as much (amids other things like our incessant nosiness into their internal affairs.) Go figure - like our buying Chinese goods could just go on forever! I contend our "cash" wasn't cash at all, but consumer debt. Not savings, not hard assets or materials - just trillions in trashy expensive short term debt. The trade imbalance was/is staggering between China and the US.

Also, part of China's anger comes from their inherent swagger. Chinese superiority has always been there. I see and feel it each time I go. But now they are shrewdly calculating how and when to show their might. China's muscle is in their highly controlled cheap labor force (and army!!). However, if the rising 600,000 middle classer's who have now a taste of affluence, don't get their way - they all want a car - then China will have to deal with dissatisfaction at home. Moreover, I think they will redirect the fault/blame onto the West. They sure ain't gonna blame Africa or the Middle East - they don't need to. Oh yes, and don't forget about peasant uprisings in China - their history is nothing but that. This is why they are totalitarian - they have no choice; 800 million are too poor.

Spiritually, Christians will need to figure out how to "join" the powers - not subvert them or even sneak around them. Christians will have to figure out how to be "nation-builders" and not be seen as some cult. This will be a very interesting dynamic to watch. Theologian Simon Chan tells us in the West that we just don't get it: we don't understand what it is like to be a minority religion with a minority voice in a very unWestern, unChristian East.

But of course the great danger is that if Christians join the nation-building, they may become tools of the powerful, and fail to actually a) bring about the good news - justice, love, service, redemption, forgiveness; b) even worse, sanctify Chinese imperialism. The house church senses this collusion all too well. And here we all know too well how that turns out - look a us! look at the religious right! Look at the last 500 years of church/state collusion and its ambiguous results. As theologian Miguel de la Torre (at Iliff Institute in Colorado) says, 'justice must always come from below - never does it come from above.' Rev Dr MLK Jr was from below. Bishop Tutu was from below. Now William Wilberforce was from above - but he's the exception. I guess I might change my tune and argue for the house church to stay hidden if they want to change China's soul into a Jesus soul. Hmm. Sure sounds like a lot of persecution coming their way. It's weird and smug to say but, perhaps NOT being a superpower isn't so bad.

Power. Always power. Even the best people do the worst in the name of good - because of power.

All Faiths Call For Death To Self

2009-04-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

"Whoever would save his life will lost it and whoever loses his life will find it" - Jesus, Matthew 16:25

The Apostle Paul repeats an anthem of the early church...

Though his state was that of God, yet he did not claim equality with God something he should cling to. Rather, he emptied himself, and assuming the state of a slave, he was born in human likeness. (Philippians 2:5ff)

I am reading Cynthia Bourgeault's book, Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. She states that all great religions/faiths have as their goal "death to self." True I suppose. But let us not confuse "interior death" with a more holistic view. I deeply embrace meditation and contemplation. I lead retreats, guide people into silence, listening prayer, and centering prayer. All of this rich spirituality is meant to "plug in" our heart and world to god. It is not meant to simply a self---ish (self focused, self centered) spirituality, where god is just there to help us idolize our Self. No. Taking Jesus' prime example of death to self, it is truly "Not my will, O Lord, but thine!" - and then he goes to the cross - not a symbolic cross, a real cross. The soldiers gamble away what little possessions he has. He falls into the hands of god The Father Almighty. Ladies and Gentlemen: that is death to self. This death, this high price, this cost is full death. Death to self involves our parenting, our money, our language, our interior emptying, our "every thought captive to god," our driving, our church, our worship, our generosity, our silence, our retreats, our busyness, our competition.

Let us never cheapen how expansive (wide) this death should be. Nor should we ever cheapen or limit just how deep (interior) this death must be.

Flee! Flee! Flee! Flee your life! Flee your busyness, your anger. Go into quiet and silence and aloneness. Yes, find your sacred word and intentionally revoke every thought. But also revoke every dollar and every minute. Then take up your cross and make your way down your path, your "via dolorosa," your way to glory through tears.

He Has Risen!

2009-04-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!

Why do we continue to look for Jesus amongst the graves of our dead ideas? ... the dead idea of war, where military violence is suppose to bring peace; the dead idea where Christian moralism replaces sitting at the feet of Jesus; where terrorists replace prophets; where busyness replaces significance; where consumption replaces contentment?

Jesus shows us what it takes to have peace: go and be with your enemy; how to pray - come together for daily worship and scripture contemplation; be the bold voice of truth! rest, re-create and wrestle in solitude with the Author of Life; and store up treasures in heaven.

When British missionary Bishop Lesslie Newbigin was once asked when reflecting on the future, 'are you an optimist or a pessimist?' he answered: "Neither. Christ has risen from the dead!"

If Jesus is risen then all things are possible. If he has not risen then all we have is religion.

Make Retreat

2009-04-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

Going to Conception Abbey soon

On a crisp Spring day like this fine morning I'd love to be walking across the Abbey's hill toward prayer (Lauds) as the bells toll. After prayers, go eat some simple breakfast with that particular taste of institutional coffee.

Then later find a warm baking place in the sun, and like some content dog just BE, no worries. And then listen for the Voice. Windmills, flowering trees, orchard, the smell of dirt, the smells of the Abbey - frankincense and polish... my journal, a book maybe, a gritty Bible story about some despot ruler who failed to honor god - and as a result the price everyone must pay... imagine myself the prophet who 'told them so'... then wander out in a quiet field... find a tiny obscure rivulet to watch the water drip and gurgle, singing its happy tune of praise. Feel small. Hear the Voice.

And we are redeemed, like turning in a lost muddy Coke bottle, you found in a ditch as a kid. You walk into the grocery store, and... Three cents! Yes, that's about right, three cents. How I wish that is all I desired: to find hidden three-cent treasures. Buy my candy and walk home content.

Go to Conception Abbey. Find your Coke bottle; be redeemed. Have no where to be.

Shalom

Justice: More Than We Can Chew

2009-04-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

Set the captives free, defend the poor, share bread and one cup with everyone"

We want to bite off more than we can chew in the inner city.

We want to purchase an apartment complex and rehab it, have spiritual retreats there, and work in the neighborhood. This will be more than we can handle - and that is exactly the idea.

Those of us in the outer city (suburbia) never drift into rebuilding the inner city in the name of Jesus unless we own the problems, unless we get in over our heads. This is a theological point, and a good point to make near Easter: In Jesus, god comes to be with us, he lowers himself, empties himself (Philippians 2:5-11) and enters into "solidarity" with us - he becomes one of us. BUT - though we kill him on the cross, unlike us, he rises and is victorious over death and humanity's evil; Jesus begins a new era, a new way of being human. He is the first fruits, the first of the harvest of new Adams, new Eves.

We now have power, god's Presence in the his Spirit. Let's be clear: we are not building the kingdom of heaven on earth by our own will and strength - the Spirit intercedes, guides, and empowers us. The resurrection shows us we need not worry or fear "those who can kill the body" (mug you in the inner city). The resurrection is not just a theological supernatural sideshow to prove how powerful god really is; no, the resurrection in the vindication of all that Jesus taught and demonstrated: death is the big enemy, but thanks be to god who gives us the victory in Jesus: Love wins! Now we chase evil away; we bring down the powers and rulers of the this world. Fear not!

Purchasing an apartment complex is not unreachable. The one linked here could sell for as little as $30,000. We have more than that amount committed to the inner city through EPIC, our three year financial challenge. We just don't have the cash in hand at the moment. But we will, I am sure. Then after we buy the work really begins: interior demolition, remodeling, getting and keeping good tenants, repairs, etc. It's a long-term venture -- one step forward, two steps backwards... more than we can chew. Just like Jesus.

This is our cross to bear. This is our "emptying." And this is our small corner of the world to resurrect and make into the kingdom of heaven.

Do not think Jesus spoke empty words: "I am making all things new" (Revelations 21:5), or that he meant to make things new in the far future - or burn up the earth and start over, or that his words are a failed promise. The new day had begun. We live in that new day. I for one will not succumb to the numbing of religion, the cheapness of "Jesus is just saying metaphorical rhetoric." The early church didn't seem to think Jesus was just blowing smoke. They saw the new kingdom and did not lie to themselves. Martyrdom clarifies.

Let us take up our cross and change our world. Amen?